taking profiles down

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2004
taking profiles down
9
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 11:19am
I need advice here. I have been dating this guy for 2 months and there was an agreement last Friday to take profiles down. I took mine down and his is still up there. My question is , how do I approach this without it looking like I am stalking his profile or something. any advice would be appreciated, thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 11:50am

Just say casually, so it feels good to have found someone and to finally hide my profile on match which I did on Saturday (or whatever day you took it down), did you get a chance to hide your profile? This will open it up without pointing the righteous finger.

Has he been active on match since the talk (you know the active w/in 24 hours) -- he may have forgotten about it.
SP

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2004
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 11:56am
Thanks. yes he has been active. A couple of weeks ago, something about profiles came up and he said he didnt know how to take his profile down so I had thought about saying something like " I took my profile down , did you figure out how to take yours down". Anyway, I dont think he is a player or anything(but you never know i guess) -- just bothers me that it is not down.
Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 1:06pm

Hmmm. I've been pondering this, since I was cleaning up old word docs on my computer and came across a chat log... this guy and I had apparently

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 1:13pm

You raise a good point; the guy may agree and think it's a good idea at the time until he thinks about it later. Most men do like to keep their options open. So, do you think it's smart to let him bring it up then when he's made up his mind? i.e. no sex until in a committed, exclusive relationship, the guy knows it so it's his call?

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2004
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 1:25pm
I am the one who initiated the "taking profiles" down conversation but I feel I did it in a way that if he wasnt ready, he could have said so. I said,. " I was thinking of taking my profile down off match, what do you think about that" ? and he responded with " I think it is a good idea". I then said "what about your profile and he said he had no problem taking it down at all and I said "Ok, because I dont think I would feel comfortable with your profile still on match". and he then said again that he had absolutely no problem taking his down. And I am Ok if he wasnt comfortable taking his profile down -- and if that is the case, then I dont feel comfortable sleeping with him anymore. Anyway, just want to find out if he really wants to take it down or not.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 1:43pm

Then in that case, the next time you see him in person, you need to have a direct conversation with him along the lines that phoenixmama suggested.

Sheri

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 5:20pm

Please, for both your sakes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2005
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 1:49am

Ok I have the silly answer of the night......Wink at him....or send him a rejection...(I sent a guy I was dating the I'm sorry I just met someone and want to see how it goes rejection) It was a cute and flirty way to start a converstation about his profile still being up.

I think we get too wrapped up in the taking down the profiles. Nothing is sweeter than when a guy takes it down on his own. Too bad it doesn't always happen!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 6:55am
Hi,
The next time you get together, could you ask him to give you a few extra minutes? Then open up the computer and ask him if he needs help getting the profile down. I don't think you need to worry about if he thinks you are stalking his profile. You have an agreement, right?
E