Taking things slow

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Taking things slow
19
Tue, 12-06-2005 - 9:41pm

I suppose this is a good thing.

I met a guy on Nov 5.....we've had 3 dates thus far and it's been a month. Basically I've seen him every weekend except for the two when he was away (before and after Tgiving). It's been about 50/50 with both of us initiating. I talked to him tonight on the phone and although he mentioned "the next time we get together" type of conversations, he hasn't asked me out for this coming weekend.

I am all for taking things slow and feel, when I'm with him, he is interested. I guess I just don't want to overlook the "he's not into me" thing, if that's the case. Should I expect to see him at least once a week at this point?

Physically we've only hugged and on Saturday night he gave me a quick kiss.....nicely paced, I think, so he's not rushing anything and that's good. His messages are consistent at this point.

I know I should continue seeing/meeting other people but to be honest, I'm tired of meeting other people and have hidden my profile for the time being. If he ghosts on me or it doesn't continue I can repost my profiles.

I am overly sensitive about this subject because it was what broke up me and my last boyfriend. I want to do the right thing here. I've met 5 men in the past few months and he's the only one I'm at all interested in. Any insight?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2005
Wed, 12-07-2005 - 4:44am
Both stories (yours and Kersty's) are the reasons why everyone says "don't put your eggs in one basket", "keep your feelings in check", "don't sleep with the guy right away", "no one knows anybody after a month", etc. I'm sorry this happened to both of you but it'll make you both smarter the next time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Wed, 12-07-2005 - 6:39am

Thanks, SBC......Hugs to you.

The thing that saddens me is that I am really a trusting person and I'm now starting to go in the other direction.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Wed, 12-07-2005 - 6:40am
I didn't sleep with him and we didn't even kiss......I don't know how I could have been any smarter. I only had 3 dates with him and was just beginning to get to know him. There were absolutely no red flags at all...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Wed, 12-07-2005 - 7:17am

<>


I think that is normal and will happen. And then what will probably happen is that you level out and find a new "balance." You'll learn to keep your eyes open for new things you've learned...


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 12-07-2005 - 12:10pm

He might be trying to take advantage of the 8 women to 1 man ratio in New York City. There are loads of well paid beautiful women in New York that are looking for a boyfriend, it's a tough town for dating.

Deceitful...definitely time to move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2005
Wed, 12-07-2005 - 8:26pm
I just don't understand why you're getting all upset about a dude you never slept with, never kissed, and only saw less than a handful of times because he's turned out to be a total loser. It's the whole point of dating. And it's why everyone says you can't know someone in a month. Proven twice now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Wed, 12-07-2005 - 8:35pm

Not really upset, just disappointed....mainly because I rarely feel a connection with anyone and I did with him. Obviously not the right connection. I'll be absolutely fine in a few days naturally.

Hey, who can understand emotions anyway...not always logical.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2005
Wed, 12-07-2005 - 8:45pm
It sucks rocks, I know. Hard to find a decent guy in this world. Much less one you connect with. Let's hope the new year brings us all a decent guy that we mesh with!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Wed, 12-07-2005 - 8:49pm
I'll ditto that!

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