Tell me about it Friday
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|Fri, 05-16-2003 - 11:06am|
Are you are in a relationship that seems to have stalled, and you can't seem to get past that three- or six-month mark? Join the crowd. Maybe we can all learn from more successful daters.
Recently, more than 100 single men and women in their 30s, 40s and 50s came together to work on relationship skills, meet other singles and share life experiences through the group Single Directions. They pooled their life experiences and came up with a list of big relationship mistakes that adults make:
1. Creating a relationship without also building a friendship. This happens when you get deeply involved and never take time to get to know your partner or care about what really matters to him or her.
2. Not being honest about how you really feel, what you want or what really bothers you. Instead you pretend that there are no problems and go along with things. You walk on eggshells, stuffing your feelings instead of doing what’s hard: either resolving the issues or leaving.
3. Not taking care of yourself before, during and after the relationship. If you're not happy, your partner won't be either.
4. Depending on your partner for your happiness instead of establishing your own life. You expect the other person to make your life wonderful and complete. You put everything into building your whole life around just one person.
5. Forgetting that true love takes time. You start too fast or leave too soon
6. Expending all your energy on creating romance, or focusing on sex rather than working on the relationship.
7. Searching for love without knowing what you need or want.
8. Believing that if the sex is good everything else will work out.
9. Relying on first impressions to make your choices.
10. Failing to discover what went wrong in your last relationship -- and therefore making the same mistake again.