Tell me how stupid I am!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Tell me how stupid I am!
9
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 11:02am

OK here's the deal.....I'm from a very small town where everyone knows what everyone else is doing. I have this irrational fear of posting my picture. I am a very private person and want my business to be my own. I have heard of people in this town actually getting on the personals sites just to see if they know anyone! They're just being nosy. That is the last thing I want. I know this sounds really shallow of me, but I don't want to give the whole town something to talk about, if you know what I mean.

I am signed up with Yahoo and eHarmony. On my Yahoo personal I state in my profile that "the best gift you can give some is your time and if you are worthy of my time, I have a picture to send you." (something like that)Hmm..now that I read that sounds kinda harsh LOL

On eHarmony, I share my picture with only people I want to see it.

I know I'm getting passed up because they don't see me right away (at least I hope so, I'm not a total dog or anything), but I just feel really uncomfortable putting my mug up there for everyone to see.

ANYWAY GIRLS (& GUYS, if there are any) LET ME HAVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (This will be fun)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 11:17am

Now, now, now.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 11:20am

I don't think you are stupid at all! I think you are smart! :)

Sara

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 11:28am

The first time I did OLD I didn't have a picture up. I was afraid someone I work with would see it. I did say in my profile I had a picture to send, and I got plenty of replies and met my x-bf who I dated for a year 1/2.

This time I'm being adventurous and putting it up there. I work at a new place and several people know I met my x-bf through OLD. I think if anyone I knew saw my ad now, they would not be surprised I had one up and if they said anything to me they'd wish me luck.

If you are not comfortable putting your picture up then I think it's fine not to.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 12:35pm
I don't know how eHarmony works, but I know that Yahoo will allow you to hide your profile. Only the people that YOU contact will be able to see your profile & your pic. Just a thought...
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 1:56pm
I live in a big city so I never thought twice about posting a photo, but for people living in a small town, I definitely understand the concern. Especially since in a lot of small towns, there aren't many singles to begin with. I don't blame you for not wanting to post a photo, though as you said you may get very few responses as a result.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 2:09pm

I live in Louisville.

CL-Truewild1969

For further information regarding OLD including FAQ please visit our OLD Website at;

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 8:34pm

I would NEVER call you stupid, but if you were complaining about a lack of responses I would call you silly! Since you know what no pics will do to your stats and are fine with that, then there's no problem.

One other side benefit is that you'll most likely get fewer Wankers emailing/winking at you. Those guys like photos.

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That line does indeed sound harsh -- also snotty. Couldn't you rephrase it, make it a little nicer? Like, get rid of "if you are worthy of my time". One suggested replacement is "if I feel we could be a match..."

amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 9:45pm
I have stated before that I myself do not communicate with persons who do not display a photo. Only once have I broken that "rule." The guy sounded really interesting in his profile and his email to me, so I did respond and asked about the photo. He did have a good reason. (As it turns out, we never met.)
I don't know if living in a small town is reason enough to hide what you are doing, but I know that some people who teach school don't want their students snickering over their profiles, and I don't blame them. If you feel you have a good reason not to put up a photo, why not state it honestly? "I didn't post a photo because I live in a town of 800 people and I really don't want everyone to gossip about me. Please email me and we can exchange photos then."
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 9:42am

As a matter of fact, after I wrote this message, I went in and change that snotty line! LOL

Funny how you can type something then read it later and it sounds that way.

I never thought about keeping the Wankers (I like that LOL) away by not posting a pic.