telltale signs of a married man?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2003
telltale signs of a married man?
20
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 5:21pm
Does anyone know if there are any signs to tell you that you are dating a married man? I'm trying to be cautious because I'd never want to have this happen to me. I know how I would feel if I was the wife whose husband was cheating like this and I don't want to be the "other woman". This weekend I might be meeting a guy I met online. He lives about a half-hour away from where I live. We chatted on IM and emailed for about a week and he said he was never married or has kids but you can't really believe everything people tell you on there, I know that. He uses a laptop too whether that would mean anything. I don't really suspect that he's married but I'm just a little cautious like I said. I looked up his name in the phone directory and it's there in the same town he said he's from. He never suggested talking on the phone but it would be long distance so I can understand that. If anybody here has anything to share about how to tell if someone is married, let me know.


Edited 5/31/2005 5:24 pm ET ET by kathy748

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Avatar for calilawgirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 5:41pm

Hmmm... you're going to meet but you've never spoken on the phone? May I suggest you do that prior to meeting. I have emailed/chatted with quite a few men who left me with one impression, only to have that impression changed once I heard what their voice sounded like. You're worried about this guy being married, at this point, you don't even have comfirmation that he's not she.

Now I can't tell by your email if the "married man" is just something you are worried about in general or with this specific man. If your instincts are picking up on something not quite "right" with this guy- I say trust your instincts. If it's men in general, ask the right questions. Make sure what he tells you adds up in your head. But, if he really is married and tells all the right lies, than only time can tell.

Oh, back to the phone thing. I don't buy the long distance charges as an excuse. In this day and age 99% of the population has cell phones and almost every plan offers FREE long distance.

Just something to think about...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 6:03pm

He uses a laptop too whether that would mean anything.


I don't mean to be flippant, but what do you think this possibly could mean? That he can move his computer. hide it from his wife (if he has one)? Personally I think this is overanalysing.


I'm single but use a laptop so I can move about the house with my kids, take it with me and even spend time online after I've gone to bed. I find it bizarre that anyone would question my motives for having a laptop, but that's just me.


MS
A man's got to do what a man's got to do.
A woman must do what he can't.

MS
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 6:23pm
PMFJI, but I read online somewhere that about 85% of the married guy's will use a Sony Vaio. So you might ask what kind of laptop and go from there. I hear if they are not using Antivirus they will also be shoddy with their birth control.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 6:43pm
Are you serious about the kind of laptop they use? That's crazy. Why would so many married men buy a certain brand name? It doesn't make sense.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 7:09pm
O
M
G
lmao.....
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 9:00pm

LG was joking. His posts need to come with warning labels for those who don't know him well ;-).

But seriously, I don't see what him using a laptop has to do with his marital status...what's your thought process on that?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 9:48pm

Kathy, you crack me up. You don't believe what OLD guy says, but you believe what lg says!

Here are some of the is-he-married red flags:

He only emails from work OR only late at night and very early in the morning. This usually means he's on the computer while wifey-poo is in the other room (possibly lying on the bed because she's tired with carrying yet another of the no-good scum-sucker's children).

He doesn't give you his home phone number. I know some people only use cell phones these days, but I think that's just bizarre.

He calls you at odd times, usually from his car, but rarely if ever from home.

He is reluctant to meet you in person.

Anyone else have any red flags to add to the list?

amjay

Avatar for calilawgirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 10:10pm

I have a few to add:

- Zero pictures of friends or family in his house/apartment. It could be his love nest. (I know it sounds far fetched, but it happened to me.)

- Claims he is never at home, because he's a work-a-holic and won't give you his home address or phone number.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 4:07am

Just my opinion but if you're really over thinking this I suppose

MS
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 6:43am
Also, pay attention to when they want to make arrangements to get together... this past winter I met with someone who lived an hour away on a Saturday night... it was a very nice evening although I did note that he seemed alittle nervous for a lawyer who did a lot of public speaking, etc... but ok.... after that we tried to make arrangements to meet again but he made the arrangements for a Wed night.... there was a snow storm so we had to cancel but then he is making arrangements for Wed night again... I told him it was difficult for me since I work Mon through Fri and have kids with school work, etc... he finally admitted he was married... that was that....

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