Terms of Endearment Too Soon?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Terms of Endearment Too Soon?
8
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 2:00pm

I started to notice that when a guy calls me 'sweet thing' and 'cutie' in the first emails, they have usually turned out to be players or guys just out for a good time.

Well, I met this great guy that I felt I hit it off with right away. We met on a Friday night at a club, had fun and by the evening we were holding hands at a pub and cuddling up, talking.

Well, after our second date (V-day), he started calling me baby. Over the phone and in emails. At first I thought it was cute (it's been awhile since I've been called that) but this is usually not a good sign to me. Like I said before I usually equate this with playa talk. He seemed really sincere on Valentine's day (which is my birthday), he bought me a card, inscribed it 'so glad to have met you, and excited to learn more about you' bought me a gift certificate to a spa and a rose.

Something about calling me baby makes me feel like I'm not the only one.

Any thoughts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 2:08pm

cl214...


Pianoguy agrees with you 100%!


"Baby", "Sweet Thing" and "cutie" are all stupid phrases that men can easily reference.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 2:12pm

CL-Sounds like he is into you. Given that you have gone out on a few dates (including V-day) and the spa gift as well as the rose, I think calling you a petname is appropriate. It is when they do if prior to even meeting you that is a red flag.

To me if he was a player, he wouldn't bother with the gifts. Sounds like a keeper so far. Enjoy it.

Jodie




Edited 3/3/2005 2:14 pm ET ET by truewild1969

 

http://tickers.ticke

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 2:14pm

Hi,

"Baby" Can be sincere, but if your antennae are up, then Something is up, and he probably is doing more, with others. Often, terms of endearment too soon are saying: "I will call you ladies ALL "baby", then I won't call you by the WRONG name".

If this is his brand of confusion...ding!...next! I do like to be called little names, but NOT before you even know me well enough to know my Real middle name!

Truly,
Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 5:20pm
My boyfriend R has hugged me and said, "My baby" and he calls me "honey" and "sweetie" and other little pet names, and he started doing so fairly early on...but the way he said them didn't bother me at all because of his sincerity.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 5:59pm

It doesn't necessarily bother me, because like I said it's been awhile, it just strikes me that maybe it's not that sincere since we'd just met. I mean we'd known each other 6 days by that point. Oh well, maybe it'll actually grow into something.

We're having a 3rd date this weekend so I'll keep ya posted!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 8:48pm
I may be too paranoid about this but usually I wouldn't trust a guy who starts touching & cuddling at the first meeting. Guys would bring presents, flowers, roses, anything to get girl's attention. I think it's too soon. It just doesn't sound sincere... just my opinion.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 11:43pm
As a guy I don't understand the whole "bring presents" phenomenon. It smacks of desperation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sun, 03-06-2005 - 10:30am
Some guys' too much enthusiasm in the first phase is really something.. almost scary.