Thank you so much everyone!!..(m)
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|Wed, 04-23-2003 - 4:54am|
My mom keeps telling me that she thinks I'll like it here more once I have my own place. Which I totally agree, Dustin's mom gets mad if we don't keep things picked up as nice as she likes, whereas my parents basically didn't care what my room looked like as long as it was in my room. I just feel like his mom wants to control our marriage and future. Whatever opinions she expresses on things, is made Dustin's opinion. I do think she's a very intelligent woman, but it drives me crazy that I feel so out of control about my life. My parents have always given me my own space and let me make my own mistakes. The awkwardness around his dad I can't explain. My dad has never exactly been a father figure. And I feel like I've never really had a dad, and don't need one now. Sometimes when I talk to him I think he's cooler then I give him credit for and sometimes when I don't want to be social I find it so annoying. The lack of privacy is also driving me crazy. We only have a tapestry for a door. Theres been times where people have entered w/o saying something and I haven't been completely dressed. Dustin's dad did it one time and Dustin finally said something after me complaining for a while, and he hasn't done that since. But I don't feel that our space is respected as a married couple.
Despite all my issues, I do think I'll have to try to grin and bare it for the time being. I've expressed a lot of my feelings to Dustin so we're now on the same page. I think I'll even let him read this post. I think everything is just adding up right now with the stress of living with someone, not having any support/assistance from friends and family, that I can't get outside of the house, and that Ani is having issues currently. We believe she's lactose intolerant, as Dustin is, so she keeps getting gas pains in which she screams randomly throughout the day. The doctor thinks it may be GERD...like baby reflux disease. So I'm worried about her.
My sister in law's car is fixed but now Dustin's car is going in to be fixed. But I'll have the car on Thursday so it'll be nice to get out even if it is just to a pediatrician appointment. I'm dependent on Dustin's parents financially, only because I have to be right now. But if I had the option to get out more, I would be making friends, and it would help me to get my mind off things. I've considered joining a gym. But right now with Ani I don't feel like I have time to. At the beginning of June, I'll be going to Indiana for about 10 days. Seeing my family I think will help dramatically. I also think that seeing a therapist will help. I've never thought I would ever need to go to one, but I see how it could help now. If I am suffering from postpartum depression because of everything, they'll be able to help as well.
Thank you so much for all of your replies. It does reassure me that I have friends that care. And it means the world to me to have such great friends. I love you ladies, your the best!