That's it, enough frogs!

Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
That's it, enough frogs!
7
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 2:31pm

Hi all,

I've posted here once or twice. I'm mostly a lurker, though. But I've kissed enough frogs and I've had my fill of OLD. I can't put my finger on it but there's something artificial, something almost garrish about it IMO. Does that ring true for anyone else or is it just me? Anyway, everyone here seems extremely warm and I bid you all the best of luck.

Off to let nature take its course,
Gail

**gentle hugs**

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2004
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 5:47pm

Hi Opal -- yes, some people find that online dating is not for them. I am still of that opinion too, even though I have a couple of free profiles up. However, I really expect nothing from them.

OLD is just hard, plain and simple. I know it can be argued that it's not any harder that IRL dating, but I tend to disagree. If nothing else, when you meet someone in person and then decide to go out, you know a tiny bit more about them than if you meet online.

Good luck. :)

Eric

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 1:16am

I hear you. I quit OLD as well. Although, I DID manage to meet someone from Online, I was ready to quit entirely when he came along. In fact, I almost didn't even respond to him.

I agree with you though. I've posted this before, but my general impression of the men (can't speak about the ladies because I haven't experienced that side of it) is such:

1. Emotionally crippled, online to try to get over an ex.
2. Socially crippled.
3. Looking to only get laid.
4. Looking for a fantasy woman that NO woman will be able to live up to. Ever.

I don't know what kind of experiences you had but MINE are pretty much summed up in the above four statements. I realize that there are good men out there, but it seemed to me that they were so few and far between.

Good luck in the real world.

Avatar for opal45
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 7:13am

Yes, that's it! I thought that as OLD became more main stream that more normal men, and women, would join. Oh well.

I have a question about one of your summary items. You said they were "emotionally crippled, , online to try to get over an ex." What do you feel is the appropriate way to get over an ex? Therapy? Time? I'm curious what others feel as well.

Thanks

**gentle hugs**

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 8:51am
I think time is the best way to deal with getting over an ex. You shouldn't jump into dating trying to replace the feeling you had with the other. Two guys I went out with that weren't over their ex's both said they were jaded towards a committed relationship. So they really shouldn't be on a dating website to begin with IMO. I'm also off of OLD. My membership on match expired and I took down my profile. I've got alot going on right now and I think I'll try the 'let nature take it's course' route for awhile. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 11:55am

Re: the issue of frogs,,, Well first off I will have to say that I too placed far too many expectations on the concept of utilizing 'old' as a means to meet quality people. And unfortunately, much to my dismay, the only thing that I have actually encountered by using old is,
1.) a whole lot of old horney men
2.) very young horney men
3.) and men in my age range who are only interested in 'getting laid' and are
commitment phobes

Sorry, for the bluntness but thats how its been for me! In fact, just this morning I received an email from a man who is 17 yrs. older than me. He wrote that he typically dates women in my age range and that if we met, I would see why. Of course, the guy had absolutely no Pics posted with his profile. (SICK !)
Need I say that I am extremely grossed out that this guy is even looking into my age range of women. My gosh, the guy is 7 yrs. younger than one of my parents. YUCK ! YUCK! YUCK!

Eric has a great point, at least in the IRL you are seeing and directly interacting with people immediately and can therefore make a much quicker decision on whether you want to expend your energy on pursuing the person further. With 'old' you are throwing in a whole bunch of extra steps, only to be greatly disappointed when you finally do meet etc. LM

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 12:30pm

Something artificial about it...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 3:05pm

My way of getting over an ex is probably entirely different from someone else's but I handle things my own way.

I want to be alone, get drunk, cry, sometimes not leave my bedroom for long periods of time, eat lots of chocolate, talk to a sympathetic friend until they can't stand to hear my voice anymore, write in a journal, buy new stuff, etc., until I feel good enough to start living life again. Which, depending on the time of the relationship that ended, is in a few months. And then I'm back to my normal self.

It seems though that the guys I've met online who were in the Emotionally Crippled category never really went through the stages of grief. They tend to replace rather than mourn. They just want someone there to soothe their injured ego (that they can still "get" a woman) and they want someone to just distract them for a while so they never HAVE to go through the stages of grief.

To heck with that. I'm not online to be anyone's bridge to sanity. I want these guys to deal with their grief instead of dragging someone into their misery with them.