Things that make you go hmmm...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Things that make you go hmmm...
20
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 8:43pm

Well, on the discussion of what/when is appropriate to talk about sex. A recent eHarmony match has me wondering what to do. In his "Must Haves/Can't Stands" he has"

Passionate...... I must have someone who is willing to explore our sexual desires with passion and understanding.

Affectionate...... I must have someone who is comfortable giving and receiving affection.

Chemistry...... I must feel deeply in love with and attracted to my partner.

Uninterested...... I can't stand someone who does not enjoy having sex on a regular basis.

And then he freeformed his questions and said:

Is there a difference between having sex and making love? If so, what?

And all this from a guy that doesn't even make his picture available at this stage! I'm torn because I just don't know. Nothing he's said is "offensive" per se but to me it's just not something I share with someone that I've never even seen his face yet and not sure if I'd want to even CONSIDER sex with him. I don't know if I want to close him, call him on it or kind of ignore it and go on.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 10:08am
Hi,
I wouldn't consider this appropriate in the first set of questions, and I would let him know that in my answer.
E
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2004
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 10:24am

I agree, I know it's shallow but I would ask for a pic. One guy told me he look like Sylvester Stalone, yeah when I got his pic he looked like he was on drugs. I don't discuss things like sex online with a guy I first met. I wouldn't do it person, why is online any different? I hear warning bells about this guy.

The Unicorn

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 11:55am
I think there is some validity to that point. I hear from men all the time -- especially in our age group, which is over 40 -- that there was NO sex in their marriage. I think for a lot of men, it's a dealbreaker, which I can understand (it's one for me, too). Unfortunately, it's also kind of crass to mention it up front like that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 1:25pm
If it were me, I'd close it and not even say boo to him.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 1:38pm

I can see your point of view - this was an issue in my last relationship.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 7:23pm
My first eHarmony match.....there is a question that asks what you are passionate about and this guy puts "I am passionate about my sex life".
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2005
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 8:56pm
I think when I got to open questions with this guy, I would ask, "What do you think about other than sex?" And then close him before he could answer me.
I think one mention about chemistry or something slightly cute and suggestive is okay, but this guy has clearly gone over the edge.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 9:39pm

OK, I kept it up because I wanted to see if he was hot. The only excuse a guy has for saying all that sex stuff and hiding his picture is if he's hot. So not hot. Now I'm in trouble b/c I went to this point and now that he made his pic available, I have no interest.

Sigh... I think I need a break from OLD.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2003
Thu, 03-09-2006 - 9:35am

My theory on this is that there are very few "frigid" women but a lot of bored,uninspired, and uninterested women. I dated a man that complained that his ex-wife was cold and didn't enjoy sex. When we got to that stage of the relationship, I sympathized with her. He was in his mid-40's and hadn't a clue as to what would please a woman physically.

I had one man I had been chatting with go into the "my ex was cold" thing and my response to him was that most women would walk over broken glass before giving up on a man with whom the sex was fantastic and if a woman isn't interested in being intimate with her partner, there is usually a good reason.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Thu, 03-09-2006 - 12:07pm
ITA!!!!!

Pages