For those that have tried EHarmony

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Registered: 04-16-2000
For those that have tried EHarmony
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Fri, 04-06-2007 - 11:28am

I'm thinking of trying it out. A month seems like a waste of money because it seems like it takes a while to get to know people on there. Do you think a three month membership would be enough to just give me a feel of whether or not it's the right site for me? I hate to just blow the $$ but I've blown that and then some doing my time on Match.com so what the heck!

TIA~

Dani

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2007
Fri, 04-06-2007 - 1:24pm
Dani, I haven't tried Eharmony. Since the monthly fee is your concern, have you tried plentyoffish.com? It's a nice site; it even has an instant message option that you can utilize.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Fri, 04-06-2007 - 1:44pm

I tried e-harmony at the beginning of this year. Don't pay full price. What I did was take the test and just sit on it for a few weeks. They then started offering me 3 months for $59 special.

I found it to be worse than YP. I suspected a lot of the matches were people who had took the test but never really paid for a membership. EH uses those people as matches. I think they do this to inflate their numbers (as does YP and match - when you let your membership expire, you still appear for someone to see and possibly contact). Many men closed me out before even communicating with me and I closed out a few myself. Overall, I found it to be a big disappointment. I was looking for a more natural communication process where we didn't match up on looks and were 'introduced' by the computer. Didn't work that way.

Try it - just don't fork out a lot for it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Fri, 04-06-2007 - 3:32pm

Hi Dani,

I met my boyfriend of 8 months on eharmony. I really liked the service in that it it private and you can take your time rather than rushing out to meet someone a couple of days after the first email.

Definitely sign up for at least 3 months and wait for the special deals. I used it for a total of 6 months buying 2 times 3 months memberships with a lapse (you can request people to email you if they want to continue communication.) It took me about 1 month to meet the first person and I met 8 people over the six months. (5 1st date only, 2 3-5 dates, and the now boyfriend) I could have easily met at least 4 others (with whom there was mutual interest) during that period, but I was getting to know my current boyfriend and stopped making much of an effort in month 4.

Things to keep in mind:
1. Eharmony has fewer members so it works best in major metropolitan areas. I had plenty of matches in the SF bay area in my mid-thirties.
2. It is still online dating; most men you are matched with won't be interested. Around a third initiated contact with me and about half of those got to the free form questions (when you need to start putting in effort).
3. Non-paying members and lapsed members are matched with only 5 people before matching is cut off for them. So getting matched with nonmembers isn't a huge problem.
4. Eharmony matches based on personality and goals, not interests. You will get a lot of matches that appear to be non-compatible based on interests.
5. There may be a larger number of shy/private men on the site. I was matched with many many who said they were shy at first in the profiles (or it could be because of my personality type). I think it is a good sight for shy people based on how communication is set up.
6. The men on the site, even in the SF bay area, tended to be very "middle america."

Good luck.
Lavender

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Fri, 04-06-2007 - 4:51pm

Hi Dani,

I have tried Match, YP and EH over the past year. I usually was on two sites at a time, figured it would help my chances of meeting the right guy. Although I stayed a paying member on Match and EH, I had pretty much given up on finding a good man, all I kept meeting was frogs! And then, along comes this terrific man on EH and BAM, we really hit it off, BIG TIME! We have been dating for 2 months now, still to soon know where this will go long term, but we are having a blast together. Based on my experience I would say you need to stay out there looking, regardless of the site. I think EH has a higher quality of guys than YP or Match, but that is just my opinion from this last year. Remember, it only takes ONE and you may need to sort through 100's of frogs to find that ONE. Best Wishes.

Judy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Fri, 04-06-2007 - 9:29pm

Dani,

I just moved to a new area and didn't have a lot of expectations. Then, one weekend in Feb, eharmony had a free communication weekend. I started communicating with two guys. I met both of them within a week(I believe that in OLD, you should meet sooner rather than later for many reasons)

Unlike in the past, my intention truly was just to meet new people in my new location. One guy I met--- all he could do was harp about how he wanted his woman to be "fit" and how his ex-wife had gotten fat. Now, I'm heavier now than two years ago, but know I can and will be thinner again, as I have been much heavier when I was much younger. This man seemed too rigid to me and wasn't fun. I am not fat but due to stressors over the past year, I am about 10-15 pounds heavier than my comfort level.

But J, the other guy I met, turned out to have most of what I had on my "checklist": successful, attractive, kind, fun, flexible. We have been on five dates thus far. I don't know if he is the ONE or whether I will fall in love with him, but it is proof to me that I can attract good men, and if J is not the right man, I am ever closer to finding that man. J is great in that he is a wonderful father to his two teenage children(wife went cuckoo and ran out on all of them a few years ago) As a bonus, he is Catholic like me. No, neither one of us goes to church every week, but I have found that the more similar your upbringing , the better. He seems to be more interested than me at this point, but I am willing to explore and be patient. I explained to him that I don't want to rush into anything and will not do casual sex. He's ok with this, and has hung around. I like that he always does what he says he will, and though he has a very busy life with his work, kids, and animals, he is there to meet me when he says he will.

Guess my point is, maybe it is better to go into this with no expectations, use it as only one tool to meet people, and maybe you will be pleasantly surprised.

Again, I don't know what will happen but it is good so far. And, after being divorce 19 years, I am pretty damn picky!

I prefer EH. With Match, seems like you see the same people year in and year out, many of them players.

Avatar for dani20002000
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Registered: 04-16-2000
Sat, 04-07-2007 - 6:47pm
Yes, thanks. I have tried Plentyoffish. It's a pretty good site but the faces all start looking the same after a while~
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Avatar for dani20002000
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Registered: 04-16-2000
Sat, 04-07-2007 - 6:50pm
Thanks for the tip. I guess I'll wait it out a bit then. I was surprised that you get to see peoples pics right away on EH. I always thought that you didn't get to view pics until after you interact for a while. Is this a new thing. I hadn't had a chance to post a pic yet since I had JUST set up my profile and a few people had already closed me out due to no pic~lol~
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Avatar for dani20002000
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Registered: 04-16-2000
Sat, 04-07-2007 - 6:51pm
Thanks so much for all of the helpful tips! Will keep them all in mind~
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Registered: 04-16-2000
Sat, 04-07-2007 - 6:52pm
Aaaah, I posted to you in your other post. Love to hear success stories! Thanks so much for sharing!!!!!
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Avatar for dani20002000
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Registered: 04-16-2000
Sat, 04-07-2007 - 6:53pm
I get what you mean about the no big expectations thing. Makes sense. Thanks so much!!!!
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