For those of you who married ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
For those of you who married ...
6
Thu, 10-23-2003 - 11:56pm
for those of you who married men (or women) you met through online personals, how did your relationship progress?

in other words, once you met, was it just like any other relationship? or do you think it moved faster because you both already knew what you liked and were looking for and just needed the chemistry and how you got along?

i'm wondering...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 9:44am
I'm wondering this very same thing. In 5

months of looking I've only managed 2 dates.

The one I thought I liked most wasn't what

I was looking for. And the other one I didn't

think I'd like, I did.

I want to date the one I liked again, but

we haven't been able to work out a 2nd date.

One thing I noticed is I'm open, willing to

share things, but not everybody is.

I mean it's just a date, I respect women,

and strive hard to make sure they know that.

Women take a big chance meeting guys, but

it works both ways.

I've had awful blind dates in earlier single

times so I don't care for those. I've been

stalked by a woman who was going to be my

girlfriend, whether I wanted her to be or not!

I'd never, ever treat someone like that.

I seem to get the short end of the stick

most everytime.

But that's OK, I'm adult enough to realize

things aren't always going to be perfect.

Getting rejected, or not wanting a 2nd date

yourself is fine with me either way. It's

just another opportunity to get it "right"

on the next date, if you get one!

Andy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 10-25-2003 - 8:58pm
I met my husband in real life about 2 1/2 months after we met online. We had chatted so extensively and talked on the phone so much during that time that when we met in real life it was as though we had known each other for years. Everything really did move much faster. From the time we met in person until the time we married (about 18 months) we had a long distance commuting relationship and still chatted online and spent hundreds on phone cards. Because we had a non-traditional dating relationship, i.e. we weren't together and couldn't do regular dating activities, we had nothing but the spoken and written word and I believe that made a huge difference in the depth of knowledge we had of each other. We would arrange to meet about twice a month for a long weekend and as many extra weeks together as we could manage. We've been married for about 2 1/2 years now and he is truly the love of my life. Sometimes these things just work out!
Avatar for singlemom224
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-26-2003 - 7:08pm
We're not married (yet), but we do live together. I had "known" my guy somewhat (just small talk) online for about a year before we really started getting to know each other. Once we really started talking (constant IM's & phone calls) we met about 2 weeks later (we lived --still do LOL-- in the same city) & basically the rest is history. I'd say things definitely moved a bunch quicker .. we knew pretty much everything about each other & got extremely close extremely quick (as well as him w/ my son) & spent practically every waking non-working moment together. Things happened & my son & I ended up moving in w/ him about 4 months into the RL relationship & we've been doing so happily ever since (we've been living together almost 6 months now). I also just found out I'm 4 1/2 weeks pregnant .. so things can work out. :o)
Avatar for kelstev
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-27-2003 - 12:23pm
Congratulations, Stephanie :)
Avatar for singlemom224
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-27-2003 - 7:33pm
Thanks Kelly!!!
Avatar for neatdesign
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 11-05-2003 - 9:47am
Mark and I met in Feb 2002 on Udate.com, and pretty much instantly knew from the very first conversation that this was something special. We just *knew* -- I've always heard people say that but now I actually know what they mean.

Because Mark is from England and I'm from the States, we didn't have the opportunity to meet in person until 7 months later. That's 7 months of daily emails, chats and/or phone calls. The last 2 months before he came over we spoke at least an hour by phone each day. By the time he got here (for a one-month visit) we already knew we were probably going to get engaged, although we waited to make anything official until AFTER we'd spent some time together.

The time we spent getting to know each other through letters and conversations before actually meeting in person made a big difference, I think. We felt as if we'd already known each other for a lifetime. Even now we still find ourselves mentioning stories that have happened to us as individuals in the past, expecting the other to chime in on it, then suddenly remembering that no, we didn't know each other then!

Also, Mark and I had to go through the immigration process in order for him to move to the States and marry me. (We still are!) That in and of itself made things much more real, even if it is all about documentation and forms and such. It was a serious commitment -- he was leaving his country to be with me -- and one we were very eager to take on.

Honestly, I think once you meet someone in person, it goes from being an online relationship to just a relationship -- although it may be long-distance or whatever.

~ Neatdesign