thought i got rid of him

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
thought i got rid of him
6
Tue, 12-06-2005 - 6:58am
Well the guy who did not pay for me... lol... thought I would never hear from him again... lol, got a message from him asking me how I am... i really thought after the first date I scared him off!! Not really interested in him in a romantic way... probably good as friends.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
Tue, 12-06-2005 - 12:11pm
You should respond and let him know just this. If you're only interested in friendship, then you can say that you had a nice time and would like to hang out again, but as friends. I think this would get the message across. If he's interested in something more, he will probably just disappear. And it doesn't sound like you'd be all that heart broken if this were to occur.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 11:44pm

Should I tell him in person or should I email or call him? Saying it in person is more my style, although the easy way out would be just to email him.

He has called me and messaged me since the last date... so he's interested. I'm going for lunch with him tomorrow... the problem is I like him as a friend, cool to hang out and chat with but not as a boyfriend. arrgh. Help please!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 11:49pm

Tell him at lunch tomorrow that you like him as a friend but don't feel romantically for him. That way he knows but you are not obligated.

Personally, after only one meet, I don't feel much obligation. Good for you for looking out for his interests. If you want to be friends, you have to be honest.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 11:57pm

Yep... think I will tell him after we've finished eating?

Oh man... I've never dumped anyone like that before... I feel more nervous about this than asking a guy out!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 12:29am

Why did you agree to go to lunch with him?

If you know for sure you're not interested romantically, you should make this clear during lunch. I think it's fairest to him if you make this clear early on. You don't have to hurt his feelings, but you could just say that at this point, you're not feeling romantic potential, but that you're interested in seeing if the two of you can at enjoy hanging out without the expectation of dating. I don't know...something like that.

I'm just not sure why you agreed to lunch if you know you're not interested.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 12:46am
well cos I am interested in him as a friend. I think he is a cool guy and I value his friendship... and I want to hang out with him... just not as a boyfriend!!!