Three Dates and Overkill
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| Thu, 06-30-2005 - 12:18pm |
Hi everyone,
I came here a while ago asking for advice on my first OLD experience and now I'm back again asking for more.
I met this man online, we chatted for 3 weeks, met, we went on 3 dates. The first two were fantastic and I was really beginning to like him. However, on the third date, I was completely put off for a number of reasons.
Firstly, we had scheduled to meet at 7:30pm, go to dinner, a movie (dutch, always!) then head home. He knew that I had family over for most of the day. He called at around 5pm and we briefly talked, at which point I told him that my family should be leaving here around 7pm. HE SHOWED UP, unannounced, at 6pm. I was clearly uncomfortable since this was our 3rd date, I was just trying to get to know him and not at ALL comfortable with my family meeting him at this point.
I asked him why he was here so early and he told me that he got off work early and he wanted to meet my family, and proceeded to tell my sister that he had plans to take me to meet his mother the following Saturday. Wow, I thought. How nice of him to include me on the making of those plans.
Secondly, during our date, he was literally ALL over me. At one point in the movie, I needed to use the restroom and I went to get up. He grabbed my hand, asked where I was going, I told him I needed to use the restroom...at which point he tugged hard on my arm, forced me to sit down, put me in a HUGE bear hug and, in the most poutiest and childish of voices (imagine this) he says to me "NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO, I don't wanna let you go."
WTH! In response to that, I told him that if he didn't I was going to have an accident and I needed to use the restrooms, now. He still wouldn't let go. I almost took off out of the theatre at that point I was so turned off.
Finally, at the end of the date, he planted the biggest kiss on me. It would'vew been fine if I was still interested at that point, but my demeanor had changed and I cut the date short. He pushed himself into my apartment and asked if he could stay over on the couch because he was afraid of falling asleep at the wheel. I declined and told him I need to be up early to head out with friends.
So, after that horrible 3rd date, I told him I was no longer interested. Since then, he's called no less than 15 times. I belong to a relatively small dating site with a forum, and he's plastered how 'hurt' he is and how his heart is shattered over the woman of his dreams. He emails me no less than twice daily and I no longer even respond. I finally picked up the phone last night when I saw that he called and told him to move on. Following that, he plastered more messages all over the forum how he is 'waiting patiently' for his 'love' and is convinced that I'm feeling this way because there are some pressing family issues that I am dealing with right now.
I have remained silent for the most part, allowing him to say whatever he wishes on these boards. Now, however, I am angry. We had 3 dates, and he's making it out to be like we were hot and heavy in some serious relationship. His persistence is p*ssing me right off, and I told him so yesterday.
I'm feeling unbelievable pressure from him and now his friends on that same site are chimming in to add their 'two cents' according to his version. They don't even know me.
I thought that after last night's conversation with him, I'd not hear from him again. Not so, since I've already received two emails from him...thus why I'm posting here.
Has anyone had to deal with something similar to this, and should I just continue to ignore? My back is up, I'm on edge, and I'm ready to tear into him, but not sure that this is such a good idea.
Edited 6/30/2005 12:22 pm ET ET by dbl007


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Please make sure you are documenting all of this- including times of phone calls and number of calls. He could turn out to be harmless or you may need to get a restraining order.
Also, what he is doing on the forum of the website you visit is NOT appropriate. You may want to talk to whoever is in charge of the website about warning him to stop the posting.
Good luck, I hope he catches the clue and stops.
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