Too Close to Home
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Too Close to Home
| Mon, 01-22-2007 - 10:26pm |
I would really like to know if other people have had the experience of getting OLD matches from people that work or live near them and/or have friends in common. I now have three guys I've been in contact with through OLD who are somehow connected to my work. This didn't happen when I did OLD last year. I hope it is just coincidence.
Elsa

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A few years ago I met a guy from match.com who turned out lived in my same condo complex! Nuts being that atlanta is a huge city and our complex was super small, only 2 little buildings and about
I keep my yahoo profile unsearchable most of the time too. Like you, I am nervous about being recognized. It is particularly tricky because the place I work for likes to advertise us all, and there is a company webpage with our pictures. So if a client or something recognizes my picture on OLD, he can match it with the company picture and make sure.
The problem with being unsearchable is that you get fewer contacts and have to do more of the work. Also, not all sites have an "unsearchable" feature. (With Match it is very inconvenient, because when you are unsearchable guys can't find your profile even if you have contacted them before.) The local site on which I met Sean-the-lunch guy doesn't have an unsearchable option at all. If you post, you post your picture.
It is a little awkward, but the alternative is not to date at all.
Elsa
It is a toss-up. On the one hand, I like it when someone belongs to my community because not only is it more convenient for dating but much more convenient for checking up on the person to make sure he isn't a slasher. He's also, I suspect, less likely to "ghost" once he knows that you know people in common. On the other hand, if you don't like each other, it is better to be far away. Also, in my case I worry that the word will get around work that I am OLD-ing and people will think I am kind of pathetic and ridiculous. The other women my age and thereabouts who have gotten divorced seem to have accepted that they will just hang out with "the girls" now. It may be that they are realistic. On the other hand, I see no harm in trying to find male companionship. SO here I am doing OLD, and worrying about what my co-workers will think. ;)
That's great that you found a boyfriend who is such a near neighbor. May your luck rub off on the rest of us.
Elsa
Wow! That is a "small world." Different cities too.
Elsa
Hi Biochic,
Having done a lot of dating in my teens and twenties without OLD, and having found it frustrating, maddening and sometimes demeaning back then too, I am going to say that OLD is not so bad. It is hard to find a "quality person" in real life also. However, OLD still has a bad rep, especially among people in my age bracket, even though studies show that OLD is the most popular form of dating for people 45 and over (or some such age).
I know it is silly to be self-conscious and humiliated about doing OLD, but it's hard not to feel that a woman my age (I'm past menopause) should just sit home and wait for the grandchildren to be born instead of trying to have an active social life and maybe a man to love by and by. The "romance" of old people has always left our culture cold.
That being said, I agree completely that one needs to keep trying, and I thank you for your encouragement and advice. I'm very glad that OLD has worked for you.
Elsa
Thanks. It's interesting, at least.
Elsa
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