"too shy" to call?

Avatar for cutiekitty516
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2003
"too shy" to call?
11
Sun, 05-09-2010 - 3:56pm

Hey all,


Been corresponding with this guy from match since 4/22 (just over 2 weeks), has not asked me for my number or anything of that nature. So, last Wednesday (5/5), I decide to give him my number and say "if you want, maybe we could talk on the phone sometime".


The next day he says he would "love to call", how is Friday night (5/7)? Well, I didn't hear from him Friday night via phone, but he wrote me on Saturday afternoon (5/8) saying "I wanted to call you last night but I didn't want to bother you. I am kind of shy so maybe we could plan a night for me to call?"


He does say he is shy in his profile, but we've been conversing for awhile (usually by 2 weeks, I'm planning on meeting the person). Also, he initiated contact on match--so he wasn't "too shy" to send an email but now he wants me to help him "plan a night" for him to call?!?


I'm starting to think HJNTI me....whaddya all think?


~Lori

    

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Thu, 05-13-2010 - 6:25pm
Yes< I agree with that also...he thinks he could call at that time, but then can't so he uses the shyness as an excuse.
sooooobig
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2010
Wed, 05-12-2010 - 6:45pm

My thoughts exactly, mr-te.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Wed, 05-12-2010 - 6:13pm

just a thought but if he is having to plan a time to call, he might be married?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2009
Tue, 05-11-2010 - 5:30pm
Sounds like a waste of time to me.
Avatar for cutiekitty516
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2003
Tue, 05-11-2010 - 3:07pm

Well, I wrote him yesterday and said that he wouldn't be bothering me by calling; otherwise, I wouldn't have given him my number. I asked him if he would prefer meeting in person

    
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 05-11-2010 - 12:49am

Sure hang on to someone who you have to make all the first steps like offering him your number. Move on sister for he may be too shy or whatever excuse he wants to give but who wants to have a relationship with someone who cannot even bring himself to call and talk with you? What happens once you do talk? Would he be too shy to carry on a decent conversation? And how about if you actually decide to meet (on your initiation I would suspect)? Would he be too shy to meet you? Then if you actually want to continue to date? Would he be too shy to suggest when and where? Well I hope you get my drift.

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2008
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 11:10pm

I know in this day and age everyone agrees that it's okay for the girl to offer her number, ask a guy out, etc. etc. In my experience, it never works.

If the guy wanted your number he would ask for it. Then when he said he would call, he didn't. That would tell me he's not particularly interested.

I don't get why he said, "maybe we can plan a night for me to call". You already had a plan for him to call! Doesn't make sense.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2010
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 10:04pm
They already arranged a specific date that he was supposed to call (Friday 5/7).
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 11:55am
Well, he is asking when you will be available to talk--I would say "Could you call me on Tues. night?" or something very specific, then if he doesn't call, forget him. Personally I think nothing is more awkward than trying to have a phone conversation w/ someone you haven't met--somehow it's less awkward to meet in person first--you aren't trying to pick random things to talk about and you can always comment on the food, people you see etc. And I haven't enjoyed talking on the phone for a long time since high school--now I like the phone to talk for a few mins. to make a plan and that's it. So I can sympathize w/ him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 7:29am

I know several people for whom talking on the phone ranges from uncomfortable to excruciating. I believe this stems from having the kind of mother who would stick the phone to your ear and say "Say hello to your Great Aunt Gladys!" My own mum would tell me things like "Call Mrs. Smith and ask her what time I am meeting her for lunch. I don't want to get dragged into a conversation with her now"

That first conversation is always somewhat awkward, so I wouldn't count a guy out completely. At least he can admit what is holding him up!

But in the case of the original poster, I would probably be ready to say "You won't be bugging me, I would like to hear from you on the phone, but if you would rather meet in person first, how about we meet at Starbucks on Tuesday at 7?" And if that doesn't elicit a call or meet, then send him a Thanks but no thanks email.

Susie

sooooobig

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