Totally conflicted.....HELP!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2011
Totally conflicted.....HELP!!
6
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 2:26pm

I've been separated for about 2 years and will start divorce process soon. I joined an OLD site a few months ago just ouf of curiosity, and started talking to a guy on a regular basis. We didn't hit it up at first but after exchanging emails and IM we found that we had a lot in common and started to talk almost everyday. Here is my dilemma, I know I am not ready for a LTR but I

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 4:00pm

Yep, exact same thng happened to me. I wa finalizing divorce, and did not want another LTR, just looking for aman to have fun with. I met a few on line, did not meet any of those, then met one who I wasn;treally interested in, but answered anyway. It evolved over a few months, and now I can;t imagine life without him :) . We never did the cybr sex thing, still don;t even tho we are LDR, but still -

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 4:09pm

I'm just wondering if you're getting back into the idea of dating by engaging in this mostly fantasy relationship--like if you really wanted to date someone, you'd pick someone you could actually see on a regular basis, right?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 6:59pm
I agree with Music...I chose men not local and after counseling I found I chose unavailable men. Let me tell you LDR with someone you've never met face to face is difficult to make work. Your feelings get involved and for me led to so much heartache. I'm still trying to get over the last one. We met randomly online and we quickly got close...he was going through a divorce and was so needy and I fed right through that. Met him in 2005 and so many promises only to find out he had a girlfriend practically the whole time. We did meet platonically in 2009 as he visited my area for a conference. It was exactly as we knew it would be...very comfortable and I knew I was in love with him. We tried the friendship path but I needed to make a clean healthy break from him. I miss him horribly but it was so unhealthy for me.

Be cautious....you never know.

San
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2011
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 10:43pm

Thanks for the response.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Wed, 11-30-2011 - 8:42pm

My first relationship after I left my ex was an ldr.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Fri, 12-02-2011 - 9:22am
I really like what people have said already - this online correspondence is safe since you both can fantasize without any threat of a real relationship due to distance. Some people even dig the hook in deeper with promises or plans of moving closer or maybe even one visit, but not much more ever happens.