Transparency: How much is too much?
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|Mon, 03-29-2010 - 10:13pm|
I recently returned to online dating after 6 months hiatus. I've written my profile very honestly and saying I'm interested in creative types, as I myself am. I went on two dates with an actor/screen writer. The first date we talked about our writing, and it went very well. The second date was similar but then he started questioning me about a current novel I was writing, asking where I go the idea, from my life etc. I shared that it was based on an experience in a previos relationship. He kept asking questions and thinking that we were still talking about the novel, I revealed some facts about my past. I didn't think too much of it and we ended the night with a hug. He called the next day, but I was busy and didn't get a chance to call him back. Then today I got an email that merely said "messed up I don't need" and that was it! No explanation, it was the weirdest ever. So then I'm thinking, did I miss something? was I too honest with him? did I miss a red flag? I'm left scratching my head. He also deleted himself from my favourites.
I do remember one thing that seemed to bother him in the coversation. I told him that I'd found him on a movie site, as he'd been in some movies, and he said, how did you, you don't know my name. But he'd mentioned it in the first date, a stage name. He seemed to be a bit bothered by that. But I said it very lightly and was merely talking about the movie, asked how it was doing in the indie circuit etc.
Anyway, the whole thing just left me feeling a bit icky. It's so hard to know what to tell and what not to tell. I've made mistakes in my past -- been divorced now for 10 years and was in a relationship 3 years ago, which ended badly, but he was the cheater, not me, that sort of thing. I'm always very careful about talking about exes. It's never a good idea. But at the same time, our pasts are our pasts and I've always been careful to be in the present.