Travels two weeks a month

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2006
Travels two weeks a month
8
Sun, 03-05-2006 - 11:49pm

I am in the initial stages of communication with a guy on eharmony, and everything looked good until I got his answer to my Q about personal space - he travels for work two weeks out of the month, in other words half of the time. I am pretty sure this is a dealbreaker for me as it this would almost be like a long distance relationship, but I was wondering if any of you have ever dated someone who travels a lot for work and any thoughts you have? TIA

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 12:32am
I work for an airline, and have always dated a lot of pilots who are rarely around. Honestly - I like it. I need my space, and I like when he's gone a week and a half or so a month. He's never around enough to annoy me, just enough to make me miss him. I don't know, I really need my personal space. Maybe I'm just strange, but I like the guys I date to be out of town some.







iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 9:10am

Sounds like the perfect guy for me! (smile) I dated a man who traveled once a week for business and I loved it! I enjoyed those breaks where I could lounge around the house doing nothing and be lazy and/or hang with friends. Even when he was out of town he called daily so it was cool. I even encouraged him to check out some of the nightlife. My gfs thought I was crazy for telling him to do that; but I was like if I had to travel w/my job and had the time, I'm sure I would check out the nightlife. Bottom line was I trusted him and he didn't give me reason to think otherwise. Anyway he changed jobs and was home all the time -- probably why we broke up! LOL

You know yourself best. I think it truly depends on the individual.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 9:41am

The guy I'm seeing now usually is gone for a day or 2 with his job as he works out of town but is home in the evenings on a lot of nights. I work 2 jobs, so that has always been a hassle for me to coordinate time off with someone else's schedule. I can request time off from my part-time job or trade with someone if I need to. So far, we have managed to see each other pretty regularly. I think your situation could work as long as you had no trust issues to deal with and you were content during the 2 weeks he was gone.

I met, dated or had contact with several different guys (from OLD) who had jobs that kept them either on-call or out of town a lot. It didn't work out for me in those instances, but keep in mind that it is the guy's problem to work out if he wants to see you (or anyone for that matter). If they get tired of their schedule and lack of female companionship enough, they will eventually figure out that it's very hard to try to date someone with the hours they keep. They will make provisions if they want to see you. But until it gets serious, I would not rule out other guys with more normal work hours.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 10:11am

Well, as someone that used to travel for work 4-5 days a week, I can say that it is very difficult to start and cultivate a relationship with that obstacle there. However, I hope you don't discount him ONLY because of that. I was so often disappointed because I might be dismissed only because I traveled for work a lot. I think if he seems like a nice guy that you could otherwise like, there is no harm in meeting him and seeing how it goes. If it doesn't get off the ground, you've lost nothing. If things do progress past a date or two, you can cross the traveling a lot when you get there.

In another similar situation, my brother used to travel a lot for his work. His wife hated it but it was very good money and the best job he could get at the time. As soon as their daughter got old enough to be distraught when daddy was leaving every Monday morning, he couldn't take it any more and got a job that was local.

In relationships, it's all about making each other a priority. Even if he travels a lot, if you are a priority in his life when he is there, that's more important and IMO, much better than being with a guy who is always around but never really around, ya know? Give it a shot. What can it hurt?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 8:34pm

What about you? do you travel at all for work?
If you do it can be hectic to date someone who travels 50% of the time. you might end up seeing each other one week a month which is practically long distance.

If you think he s good otherwise give him a shot. Good guys are hard to come by and chemistry is even harder to find so I suggest you meet him and if you think he is worth the "two-weeks-a-month-without-boyfriend" then go for it. If you think there is nothing special about him, next him as you are better off with someone who is around more often.
There is a high risk of the two of you growing apart with distance also temptation is bigger when he is lonely and in a foreign place.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2005
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 9:41pm

My boyfriend works 4.5 hours from where we live. He is C.O. (corrections officer). There are times he will be gone for 1.5 at a time and then come home for a few days, but there are other times he is off for 2.5 without having to go to work. It just depends. We make it work though. It is hard when he is gone but I thin it has just made our relationship stronger. He calls me every single day, it doesn't matter if he is at home or at work. If you really think he is a nice guy then go for it, what could it hurt?

Cheryl

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2006
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 9:43pm
Thanks everyone! I appreciate the feedback. No, I don't travel for work much. It is funny that so many people saw this as a cheating issue, I hadn't even thought of that. I was just thinking that we wouldn't see each other much and that if things worked out and we ended up together and started a family he wouldn't be around very much. Of course if that happened maybe he would change his work situation. Anyway, I decided to go ahead and respond to his questions and we are going through the closed communication on eharmony. Will keep you posted!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 12:48am

i travel alot for work. sometimes 50% of the time... and its hard juggling a relationship plus life outside of traveling for work. but it can be done. lately my schedule of traveling has died down... but when im traveling all the time its hard.

also ive dated guys who have traveled alot like me (when i wasn't traveling alot) and it works out ok. when you get serious you have to be ok with not seeing them for a week or so at a time. if you aren't ok with this, then let this dude go. otherwise have fun w/ him and see where it goes. honestly, it all depends on how great you two get along, how things develop and how good this guy is at dating while traveling. if hes a good communicater and able to spend quality time when home, i dotn think it would be a huge deal.