Truth or Dare?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2006
Truth or Dare?
16
Thu, 02-16-2006 - 9:51pm
This guy I used to date 2 years ago is now on match.com. He does not mention that he has a kid. How would you react? (It's not my kid.)
P.S. I want to date him again.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 02-16-2006 - 10:11pm

What does he have in the section about kids - "I'll tell you later" or "None". If it was "None" and I came to find out even very early on that he did have kids, I would NEXT him in a heartbeat because that is a big thing to lie about.

Why did you break up? You need to consider the circumstances of why that happened before you consider dating him again. If it was an amicable breakup where it just happened, then there is no reason to not contact him again and see how he's doing and go from there. If it was in the slightest bit ugly on either side, then I would not contact him if I were you. If there was a good reason for it, it will likely happen again.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2006
Fri, 02-17-2006 - 8:20am
He put NONE but "wants kids definitely". The reason we broke up was because he didn't call me for 2 weeks. He says he was out of town. I ended up meeting someone else. We have spoken recently, and he wants to take me out "when you find a new job". My answer was why can't we just hook up this weekend? He wants to have something to celebrate. Well, I will end up seeing him anyways St. Patrick's Day at a party. (I might bring a date.)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 02-17-2006 - 10:26am

Sorry, but he sounds shady to me. Like I said, if I came to find out that someone lied about having kids - that's huge. Doesn't matter if he put he definitely WANTS kids, he already has them. That's awful to lie about - maybe he figures there are women his age that don't want to date guys with kids. If he's younger, that's probably true. I'm 35 and I'm resigned to the fact that I may likely find someone with kids but I prefer to not date anyone with kids over the age of 10 (no teenagers please). Anyway, he's pulling the wool over women's eyes to get more responses and IMO, that's unforgivable.

But seriously, he wasn't into you enough to call for TWO weeks. And now he's not enough into you to meet you just because - he has to have an excuse. It sounds like a cop out to me and an excuse to NOT get together. What's good about this? Why do you want to date him again? Find someone that will treat you better and actually make time for you. Definitely bring a date to St. Patty's and make sure it's not him.

Sorry, I don't want to sound harsh, but you'll find a lot of us are straight shooters out here and tell it like we see it. I don't see anything good here, so there ya go! :-)

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2006
Fri, 02-17-2006 - 10:37am
You are right on there> I have a history of "not letting go". Last night I had a 30 yr old proposition me. (I'm 47). You are not the first person to tell me that he is a jerk, but hey I like jerks OK? Since he is 40 and looking for someone 29 to 45, he dates alot of women who already have kids. Why can't he just be true to himself and to his 10 yr old son? I wish I had known he was on match.com before I dated him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 02-17-2006 - 11:09am

Well, if you like jerks, this guy is right up your alley. Why do you like jerks? If you ever have a desire to be in a healthy relationship with a guy that is going to treat you well, it would be a good idea to figure out why you like guys that treat you like dirt.

Most women have some issues with letting go, but there is a point when you have to think about whether or not it's worth hanging on to.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2006
Fri, 02-17-2006 - 11:30am
Well, you have give me some credit. I haven't gone out with anyone for 20 months. I don't date just to go out. Maybe it's his family that makes me linger...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 02-17-2006 - 11:41am

But you don't date his family! :-)

I don't date to just go out either, but I think you have to consider the character of a guy over time. How long did you go out before he just stopped calling? Did you initiate contact with him this go round? What other things do you think he might be lying about if he lied about the fact he has a kid? What do you think his wonderful family would think about him lying about his kid? Believe me, you deserve better so go out and find it!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2006
Fri, 02-17-2006 - 12:00pm
We went out for 10 weeks. I emailed him a month later. He responded as if nothing happened. His sister helped him write his profile and post the pictures (at her expensive looking home). Oh yeah, (you'll like this one) he lets his son pick out his dates online and he doen't have sex with them. He says he never dates more than one person at a time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 02-18-2006 - 4:49am

I met a guy on Match. It said "none" under kids. Then when he sent me photos, they were of him & his 11 yr old dd!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2006
Sat, 02-18-2006 - 5:03pm
Well this guy actually brings his kid on dates so it should be a big surprise to some poor fool. (Too cheap to hire a sitter?) I'm sure his objective is to find both women who like kids and one's that don't want any. What's the difference? It's just a date - right? I'll just ask him why he did it and let you guys know what the jerk says.

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