Trying it again
Find a Conversation
Trying it again
| Mon, 05-23-2005 - 12:12am |
I want to thank everyone for their very kind words on my breakup (that was on another thread). The guy I had been seeing these past 4 months and I talked tonight and he has missed me alot and wants to try again.
He had left a message on my cell saying that he had thought about us and had to talk to me, so I called him back. He told me that he was so sorry for hurting me so much. He is willing to try to compromise and wants us to try it again. I agreed, but I am going to make sure it is not all his way. I'm not sure if this was the right decision or not, but I guess I'll find out one way or the other. If I feel him wanting things only his way and pulling back in any way I'll end it.
Thanks again everyone.
Sunshine

Pages
Good luck.
What the .....?
I can't handle this flip-floppin'....lol. But good luck to you! I hope it works out for you.
Thanks everyone, yeah I do feel I need to give it one more chance since he seems sincere. But my eyes are more open now to his issues, so we'll see. If I find he isn't sincere in wanting to compromise and it's only words, I'll be out of there.
Thanks again,
Sunshine
I gotta agree sposa. I have BTDT a time or two before. My last relationship had almost this identical setup. Things were great until that first hurdle (you know, there is the 2-3 month hurdle and then the 4-6 month hurdle) when he just became distant. When I asked him what was wrong he said he didn't want to be in a committed relationship right then. At the time, I hadn't ASKED him for a committed relationship so it boggled my mind but anyhoo. Two weeks later after I had gone through some grieving, he called and said he wanted me back (we'd never really stopped communicating) but that he still wasn't sure he was ready. Well, 2 months later, he did it again. I was stupid and went back with him a couple of times. He finally broke it off for good after a few times of back and forth.
I brought it on myself by not being strong enough to say "ENOUGH!" and just ending it. I cared for him a lot and thought that if I cared enough, it would bring him around and he would want a real relationship with me. But he didn't and the longer it went on and the more back and forth, the worse my self-esteem got. But I thought he was a great guy and I didn't want to let the relationship go. So Sunshine, PLEASE be careful. I am not saying this guy is going to use you or NOT be committed to this now, but if there is any indication that he is not going to give you what you need, get out before you get hurt even worse. It is much easier to say than to do.
I agree, this guy sounds like a classic CP (committment-phobic) so I would definitely be careful. Another thing about relationships, is that usually if someone is serious about making it work again it will take time to do that instead of the instant back-together routine, usually that is based on just missing someone and not wanting to deal with the pain of them being out of your life rather than him really working on himself to make sure he won't let you down again. Just realize his issues have not dissapeared within the past few days, I have had my heart broken by this type and it is worse because they never actually let you go, they just flip-flop until you put your foot down.
I do hope it works out for you, just be careful and if I may suggest, read up on commitment-phobic men, they are usually cookie cutter examples of each other.
Pages