Trying to keep my options open here ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Trying to keep my options open here ...
12
Tue, 11-21-2006 - 11:35am

As you guys know, things with Carlos are awesome - BUT ... no major committment (verbalized anyway) although we see eachother pretty often & speak daily - but he is aware that w/o a signed-sealed-& delivered exclusivity clause

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2006
Tue, 11-21-2006 - 12:16pm
He sounds lame, and it's always worse later on, so if he's boring and rude NOW, run. You're wise to keep looking for more suitable options all around -- I don't see why anyone would want to sleep with a man who wasn't interested in being exclusive (cow/milk issue), but to each her own. Have fun!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Tue, 11-21-2006 - 12:33pm
Nah, if it were me, I wouldn't meet him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Tue, 11-21-2006 - 1:17pm

YIKES... even I can hear DANGER MUSIC with this guy....he is just looking for a qick hook-up and perhaps a cutie to have on his arm for a BORING CORPORATE XMAS PARTY...

If you should go, one benefit may be that you may meet someone really interesting...

But if he is so vacuous regarding NOT hearing that you were exhausted, etc...this guy needs some help - a relationship with him may be ride on the freak-show train!

Good Luck

Cheers
Sarah

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Tue, 11-21-2006 - 8:24pm
Yeah, I agree, you shouldn't go out with him just for the sake of proving to yourself that you are still keeping your options open re: Carlos. It seems a little forced, and maybe this is how exclusivity grows; organically!
sooooobig
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 9:56am
yeah I agree with the last poster...I guess i dont see why you are feeling the need to still date others even though things are so great with Carlos. To me not being exclusive or dead serious does not mean you should date others. I know everyone is different, but if i were seeing a guy a few times a week, having sex with him and had feelings for him, i'd be very hurt if i found out he was dating someone else...I think it takes time to be exclusive with someone...but until this time i dont think it means that people need to be dating other people. That's just me...this was meant to be offensive or anything, but maybe you are just scared of getting hurt so you feel the need to have backup?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 12:36pm

Ok, here's the "reasoning". Yes, things are GREAT with him, but ... he is the one who a month or so ago, broached exclusivity. It freaked me out, but once I thought about it, I decided it would be a good thing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 12:42pm
ah ok, I understand more now...I didnt realize that he had been so iffy about being exclusive. Well I hope things work out with Carlos because it sounds like that's what you ultimately want, but i know you have to take care of you first and find someone that fits your life plan (: that's what we all want!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 1:11pm

See? I am not SO crazy after all! lol


Yes, if i had a list & check boxes, pretty much every one would be checked off when it comes to him .... except of course, the waffling! lol

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 4:34pm

Maybe I'm out of the loop because I don't follow these boards as much but weren't you/aren't you in the state of mind of "you just want to date" you're not looking for a relationship or marriage? If that's the case why not just date Carlos and this other guy you're sleeping with - for me dating is friggen WORK and I hate that I have to juggle my works outs, friends etc around dates - hence I can't wait to have ONE ..... and if that's the case if the guy gives you a bad vibe then NEXT him?

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 5:27pm

ok, just read this thread and see that you are now looking for marriage and a child again.


yes, we are all different but where I'm at I won't sleep with anyone until I'm in an exclusive committed relationship - last time I did the deed was last December - and now I'm waiting. But most are not this way, I understand ;-)


I guess I look at it as "can't you be alone" do you really need a FWB?

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu

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