"One guy I've been emailing a lot and I think we know most everything about each other."
Wow.... I've been dating a guy for five months now, met his friends, family, he's met my friends and family, travelled together, and I still don't know most everything about him!
Tread lightly, FA... that's where we OLDers get into hot water. E-mailing does not a relationship make. He's still a stranger!
IMHO, your personal choice about drinking, for whatever reason, is no-one's business on a first date - they should respect your choice and leave it at that. Consider, and this is an example, not from experience, if you're a child of an alcoholic parent and that has shaped your preference - would you disclose that to a near stranger? I wouldn't think so, so why should you mention any reason at all at this point.
On the other hand, if someone mentions an interest in wine or whatever in their profile, I would tell them from the start that I don't drink, even before meeting
IMO: if someone shows an interest in wine etc in their profile...and you are not a drinker...you shouldn't consider them for dating. Sounds like wine is a hobby they enjoy (and there are those who are enthusiasts..not just winos lol) ...and they should be with others who enjoy that. KWIM?
I am not a drinker these days per say ...perhaps 4 cocktails a year...but mine is more medical than anything else and frankly i hate hangovers in my older age lol...and I LOVE the thrill of being sober when doing things most people get drunk for LOL....so i generally stay away from profiles that emit "partying" "wine loving" "clubbing" etc. I do enjoy the taste of a cocktail and do not wish to revisit my 20-something party days. Its also expensive and makes me feel like crap the next day if more than 2. I am 40, other things make me feel physcially crappy enough now LOLOLOLOL.
Yes, order that club soda with a nonchalance as if its routine and normal. Actually order something delicious (who drinks just club soda at home anyway?)a juice with gingerale etc...so as to not just order "bread when there is foccacia" ya know what i mean, something to enjoy?...but only explain if asked. You should be with him for his company...not worrying about what he thinks about you not drinking. If he is a mature person, he may ask out of curiousity and that is all. He may not care that you don't drink. I'd be cautious of others' over drinking or drinking being a priority to them for a good time. Nothing worse than being with a lush when you are sober. If its an issue for him to have a good time....he is not for you. good luck, Lizzie
IMO: if someone shows an interest in wine etc in their profile...and you are not a drinker...you shouldn't consider them for dating. Sounds like wine is a hobby they enjoy (and there are those who are enthusiasts..not just winos lol) ...and they should be with others who enjoy that. KWIM?
He mentions it in the context of he enjoys wine with dinner.
I don't drink either, for a number of reasons. Reasons that are really not anyone's business. I have a few answers I give to people I don't know well/socially (meets, coworkers, etc who don't need to know the personal details of my life), all of which are jokes, and have some amount of truth, but aren't the "whole truth".
My initial answer is always "I don't drink. But I make a great designated driver!" If pressed more, I explain that I went to college in a VERY party city (New Orleans) and I promised my liver to be nice after I left the city if it got me through living there. That usually gets a good enough laugh that the subject is dropped. (NOTE: except with doctors; they get worried LOL)
As long as you don't mind being AROUND alcohol, I don't think the whole "not drinking" thing is really a problem. I just spent a weekend with a friend of mine who drinks heavily. Saturday night alone, he had 16 or more beers while we were out. I drank softdrinks. We were both happy.
I dated someone last summer from OLD who didn't drink for the same reason as you: he was taking medication for rheumatoid arthritis. I drink socially but I can definitely take it or leave it. Interestingly, in his profile this guy put "social drinker" because he said if someone, esp. a guy, says he doesn't drink at all, people think he's either real religious or a recovering alcoholic.
Pages
"One guy I've been emailing a lot and I think we know most everything about each other."
Wow.... I've been dating a guy for five months now, met his friends, family, he's met my friends and family, travelled together, and I still don't know most everything about him!
Tread lightly, FA... that's where we OLDers get into hot water. E-mailing does not a relationship make. He's still a stranger!
Tracy
No, I didn't mean I know
IMHO, your personal choice about drinking, for whatever reason, is no-one's business on a first date - they should respect your choice and leave it at that. Consider, and this is an example, not from experience, if you're a child of an alcoholic parent and that has shaped your preference - would you disclose that to a near stranger? I wouldn't think so, so why should you mention any reason at all at this point.
On the other hand, if someone mentions an interest in wine or whatever in their profile, I would tell them from the start that I don't drink, even before meeting
IMO: if someone shows an interest in wine etc in their profile...and you are not a drinker...you shouldn't consider them for dating. Sounds like wine is a hobby they enjoy (and there are those who are enthusiasts..not just winos lol) ...and they should be with others who enjoy that. KWIM?
I am not a drinker these days per say ...perhaps 4 cocktails a year...but mine is more medical than anything else and frankly i hate hangovers in my older age lol...and I LOVE the thrill of being sober when doing things most people get drunk for LOL....so i generally stay away from profiles that emit "partying" "wine loving" "clubbing" etc. I do enjoy the taste of a cocktail and do not wish to revisit my 20-something party days. Its also expensive and makes me feel like crap the next day if more than 2. I am 40, other things make me feel physcially crappy enough now LOLOLOLOL.
Yes, order that club soda with a nonchalance as if its routine and normal. Actually order something delicious (who drinks just club soda at home anyway?)a juice with gingerale etc...so as to not just order "bread when there is foccacia" ya know what i mean, something to enjoy?...but only explain if asked. You should be with him for his company...not worrying about what he thinks about you not drinking. If he is a mature person, he may ask out of curiousity and that is all. He may not care that you don't drink. I'd be cautious of others' over drinking or drinking being a priority to them for a good time. Nothing worse than being with a lush when you are sober. If its an issue for him to have a good time....he is not for you.
good luck,
Lizzie
IMO: if someone shows an interest in wine etc in their profile...and you are not a drinker...you shouldn't consider them for dating. Sounds like wine is a hobby they enjoy (and there are those who are enthusiasts..not just winos lol) ...and they should be with others who enjoy that. KWIM?
He mentions it in the context of he enjoys wine with dinner.
I don't drink either, for a number of reasons. Reasons that are really not anyone's business. I have a few answers I give to people I don't know well/socially (meets, coworkers, etc who don't need to know the personal details of my life), all of which are jokes, and have some amount of truth, but aren't the "whole truth".
My initial answer is always "I don't drink. But I make a great designated driver!" If pressed more, I explain that I went to college in a VERY party city (New Orleans) and I promised my liver to be nice after I left the city if it got me through living there. That usually gets a good enough laugh that the subject is dropped. (NOTE: except with doctors; they get worried LOL)
As long as you don't mind being AROUND alcohol, I don't think the whole "not drinking" thing is really a problem. I just spent a weekend with a friend of mine who drinks heavily. Saturday night alone, he had 16 or more beers while we were out. I drank softdrinks. We were both happy.
I don't see the issue as being none of their business though, and the real issue is not the drinking.
Pages