Unsure about first meeting
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Unsure about first meeting
| Mon, 08-01-2005 - 4:08pm |
So, I had my first meeting with this guy on Saturday. He really is a great guy. Not as cute as I would hoped him to be. I am attracted to him, kind of. He was really nice! We had a great dinner, then went to see a movie. He gave me a hug at the end and asked if I would like to go with him to church the next day. We did, his whole family was there. A bit awkward, but ok. So they all ask me over to the aunt's for lunch. Great people, so I said ok. I had a great time, but do you ever feel that these guys are a little too into you. At the end of lunch, we were sitting on the back porch and he told me that he knew he wanted to be with me, he was taking his profile down. And he did. I just smiled and said I thought we should get to know each other better. Since then he called last night, and has been iming me all day! What is this? Is this normal? Is there such a thing as being too into somebody? I haven't had someone be so interested in me in a long time. What is up?

I understand your concern and it would make me leery. Also inviting me to church and his whole family being there (and he didn't mention it) would have been a problem for me. You took it all in stride but I know I would not have gone to their home for lunch. Yes, it seems as if he is moving way too fast and wonder if his family knows this is you guys 2nd date. Of course, since his family was so nice maybe that's just the way things are with them.
Really a hard call, but it makes me nervous when I meet a man who behaves in such a manner rather quickly. Personally, you both don't know each other very well. I would probably give him some space and if he is IMing you, don't always respond. Maybe say I'm busy at work and couldn't respond back. You can control how much contact you have and if he is persistent than maybe it is best you tell him that he's pushing too hard -- that he's pushing you away!!
Ooh, yeah, too much too soon for sure. I would be SLOW to return his calls and IMs...I don't like to talk to a new guy every day. Every couple of days is my preference, with 1-2 dates a week.
Guys who are like this make me think that they don't care about ME as a person, they just want a girlfriend. I mean, in this case, the guy barely KNOWS you...what is he using as a basis for deciding he wants to be with you???
Sheri
Exactly. I had one like this a few months ago. He told me he loved me on the third date. At first I thought I misheard, then he repeated it. He used to call me twice daily, at work and at home, even after I told him I don't really like talking on the phone. He kept saying we had so much in common, but we really didn't, no matter how often he said it, as if he was trying to convince us both. I finally ended it and felt totally relieved. Though I was a bit concerned about possible stalker tendencies (before we even met he left 5 messages on my cell phone in one day), he has left me alone.
Just be on your guard with this guy and if you are at all interested, try to slow him down (not always easy, I know).
When I was younger we had a term for that, called "The bums rush". Means a man in a hurry to have a relationship and you often ended up with a bum.
That's happened to meet a few times. Sorry to say the term applied.
I'd tread carefully there. Good luck!