update

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
update
3
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 6:43pm

Hi everyone, I just wanted to give an update about the guy I'd met who lied about his age in his profile and then fessed up to me on the second date. Since my dilemma provoked such a heated discussion, I thought I'd follow up here. Well, I told him that it bothered me and raised other questions. He didn't get defensive and instead said I could ask him anything. So I proceeded to go through a battery of questions about his recent dating history, the circumstances around his last breakup, and other questions that would tell me a little more about his character. I know many of you are skeptical (and I appreciate it, even the posts that took jabs at me), but I was impressed that he was so open and didn't get defensive. He understands that there is still a level of discomfort on my end and we established that we'll continue to get to know each other, with no major expectations or predictions.

Again, I appreciated all the responses to my original post. My closest girlfriends would have cautioned me the way many of you did, but they also know that I'm not naive, as some of you assumed. It's all good, though, so thanks again and best of luck to you all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
In reply to: santabarbarachick
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 6:50pm

I wish you good luck!!!

Peanut

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: santabarbarachick
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 9:27pm

All I know (and I hope I wasn't one that took jabs at you) is that I wish you luck. Trust your guts and listen to your heart.


And definitely keep us posted!


Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: santabarbarachick
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 10:57pm

Interesting...I will just note for the record, though, that the man I was involved with several years ago who I now refer to as "The Liar" was (in the beginning) all open and "you can ask me anything", even to the point of leaving me alone in his apartment and saying "go ahead, answer my phone". It was, of course, an elaborate show for my benefit, to hook me in.

I don't think this proves or disproves anything, in other words. The only way you will be able to tell if he is trustworthy and honest is if he is consistent with his words and his actions, over time. Anyone can put on an "ask me anything" show... but how do you know that he answered truthfully?

Sheri