Update

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Update
24
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 3:45pm

Well, B went out of town today for a week so we had a change of plans yesterday.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

Pages

Avatar for k3of3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: vexer_hw
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 4:02pm
Yippppeeeeeeeeeeee! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
In reply to: vexer_hw
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 4:02pm

yea! - go with it my friend. When you are living the truth of who you are - its simply a matter of time before people and situations open up. YOu know who you are and what you want - do what works!

Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: vexer_hw
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 4:13pm
Oh and he also told me a couple of times that he'd wished that he'd just picked me up and taken him with me on all his errand running so we could have more time together.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2006
In reply to: vexer_hw
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 7:10pm

<>

Awww, that is so sweet! Sounds like you have a great guy, vexer.

I'm so glad things are going great for you, even though you haven't had "the talk" yet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
In reply to: vexer_hw
Mon, 04-23-2007 - 11:49pm
I'm glad it's going well! But don't get in the habit of tagging along at Target with him; I did that once or twice in college, until my mom told me that helping a guy get ready for a trip is not a good date (especially in the first 3 months), and definitely not something to do regularly. I'd just wait and see and not read too much into it either way (such as assuming that you're the "last person he wanted to see" just b/c he let you run errands with him). You should have more definite information in the next 1-2 months, and I hope everything turns out the way you want!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2007
In reply to: vexer_hw
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 1:52am

vexer: "So all in all, I'm feeling good about things even if we didn't have "the talk". I was the last person he wanted to see before he left and wanted to make sure we got in some quality time."

You mean quality time like in having sex?...I don't understand, vexer...

How do you know you're the last person he wanted to and/or saw before he left? So, he took you to Target to "help him get ready for his trip". That would be ok, if you were his gf. But, you're not. You don't know who and how many women he's sleeping with besides you, and now he has you running around at Target with him "helping him buy socks"...think about that.

All of this would be ok if you didn't want a serious relationship with him and you weren't getting attached, but you are. You can't bring yourself to have the "talk" with him, but you're sharing your body with him. What does that say about this "relationship", vexer? Any woman that thinks she can read a man's mind and determine based on that or on some gut instinct whether he's seeing other women when there has been no agreement or understanding of exclusivity whatsover, is only fooling herself.

I don't want to see you get hurt. When you are giving your body to a man for sex, you have a right to know who and how many people he is also having sex with. What if he's sleeping with other women and not using protection?...

You deserve better, Vexer. I would suggest you have the "talk" with him as soon as he gets back in town and let the chips fall where they may.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2007
In reply to: vexer_hw
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 3:16am

This sounds very positive and I wish you all the best with this wonderful guy. In spite of what others might say, just spending time together is quality time and you can have fun---and grow as a couple---when you do mundane things together. My STBDH, whom I met on Match.com, and I enjoy going to the grocery store together. Sure, we enjoy going to the theater or our to dinner but we can have just as much fun hanging out and running errands. It's all part of building a relationship.

Ignore people who are trying to bring you down. Every relationship is different and progresses in its own unique fashion. You two appear to like and trust each other. That may be more important than sitting down and having "The Talk". I don't think you're jumping to wild conclusions if his behavior indicates that he is interested in exclusivity. My guess is that without THE TALK, he's already thinking of the two of you as an exclusive item, even if he hasn't articulated it yet.

You don't seem to be worried or to have that "oh, sh*t" feeling of disappointment. You're looking forward to a week of watching TV and you don't seem terrified that he's going to meet "someone else" on his trip. That's trust.

This is a good thing and again I wish you the very best!

Moogie

Avatar for k3of3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: vexer_hw
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 7:55am

Where on earth did you read that Vex slept with the guy Sunday? I didn't read that anywhere and I think you are making some huge assumptions that perhaps you shouldn't be making. Yes, they have a sexual relationship and yes, she's wanting to have "the talk"... but why must you assume that each and every time she sees the guy they end up in bed? Not every relationship works that way.

Sounds to me like Vex had a nice evening with the guy she likes. Was it a wine-and-dine her night? Nah. But sometimes doing the most mundance things are more intimate than planning something fancy.

My two cents.

Avatar for k3of3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: vexer_hw
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 8:23am
Couldn't have said it better myself! Great post! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
In reply to: vexer_hw
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 8:56am

DITTO!

Some people have such a distorted view of what a relationship should be that they project it to others in the guise of concern. Take it with a huge grain of salt.

Vexer's got a good head on her shoulders and knows the difference between sex and real intimacy. I think its wonderful!

Toni

Pages