Update - at 5 month mark now ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Update - at 5 month mark now ...
28
Thu, 01-11-2007 - 9:23am

For those who are new, I SORT OF met this guy on line, lol.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Thu, 01-11-2007 - 9:34am
I think it sounds like you have a wonderful guy. I know it is so hard to trust that a guy won't bail, even after 5 months, but if you've been in it this long, why assume it isn't exclusive & long term? Has he ever said anything indicating he would not be interested in marriage? If another baby and husband are what you are seeking, he sounds like a very strong candidate to me. I think the remark he made is a compliment to you though. Maybe he can't believe "you" are not already snatched up by someone else. I would have a hard time even considering dating anyone else if what you have is as you describe and he treats you as well as he does. I truly hope that things continue to go well with this and any doubts will soon be a thing of the past for you both. Keep us posted. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 01-11-2007 - 9:55am

I know ....


Lets see, about the exclusivity thing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2006
Thu, 01-11-2007 - 10:36am

I'm confused by why you would date others but only have a sexual relationship with Carlos???? This man hasn't promised you anything and you obviously are falling in love with him so why throw your eggs in all one basket (I know you said you aren't...but you need to face the facts you are) with this man who has an obvious record of non-commitment???

You are going to get hurt here and I think somewhere inside you know it. He is saying all the right things, doesn't have to commit and getting great sex. Sounds like a player to me. I have lurked on this board for a while and you give out some real strong advice to others indicating they shouldn't wait around for anyone so I would definitely practice what you preach.

Reese

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Thu, 01-11-2007 - 10:50am

Why don't you just ask him - when he said that about you that would have been a good time.

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Thu, 01-11-2007 - 10:55am

I know I'm a young 'un on here, so I may not be "qualified" to address this (lol), but I just wanted to mention this dance friend of mine who is 40 and never been married.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 01-11-2007 - 11:37am

I think I may have answered that question about why I would date others while the sex only is exclusive with him - but maybe not. 1st off, to each his own. *I* pesonally CAN have sex with someone committed or not. I see nothing at all wrong with mutually consenting honest adults having sex, whether it be with or w/o committment.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 01-11-2007 - 11:43am

Yeah, that would have been a good time, BUT, Im not sure *I* am ready for that big talk or committment either!


When I say "rock the

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 01-11-2007 - 11:45am

Ok Young-un! lol


Thanks. I thought his saying that was a MINOR step in the right direction, lol.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2006
Thu, 01-11-2007 - 2:36pm

I appreciate the honesty but I think you aren't being honest with yourself. You are indeed putting all your eggs in one basket and only "dating" others who you will never be able to feel emotionally or sexually with those "Carlos" colored glasses you have on. He owns you and you have to admit that you want this man exclusively even though you've contradicted yourself many times in regards to not being ready for a commitment. You make excuses for him and are afraid to confront him for real because you are so very afraid of what he is going to say to you.

If I had the time I would go back and find the advice you have posted here in regards to others relationships with men similar to yours where you have very clearly stated that one shouldn't waste their time if one partner wasn't willing to commit. I do believe you gave similar advice just today in a post. Like I said if I had the time I would find it and show you.

I say all of this with no intent other than to show you that you contradict yourself and if you aren't careful you will be posting back here with a great big broken heart. I am pleased that it's going well but it isn't really what you are looking for according to your own words. You post an update on a relationship that you "think" (a word you used way too many times in your posts in regards to this man) is this man's girlfriend. You aren't anything to this man until he says you are. Sorry to be harsh but I think you need to come down out of that cloud for the best of your family and see that this man isn't going to commit to you. If he was you would have known about it by now.

I am sorry if this isn't what you want to hear (seems to be a real problem on this board people not liking what is said) but I think you need some perspective and if you are going to post an update you should be ready for what you might get back regardless.

Reese

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 01-11-2007 - 2:58pm

You can certainly voice any opinion you want. & I, as any poster is welcome to do, can take whichever advice they want, to heart, or with a grain of salt.


I have a million responses to what you said, but its not worth the effort or the time. We disagree. I live my life, you live yours - to each his own.

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