Update - at 5 month mark now ...
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Update - at 5 month mark now ...
| Thu, 01-11-2007 - 9:23am |
For those who are new, I SORT OF met this guy on line, lol.
| Thu, 01-11-2007 - 9:23am |
For those who are new, I SORT OF met this guy on line, lol.
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Edited 1/11/2007 6:05 pm ET by rlch
It seems that things are going well, and I wouldn't have too much anxiety about the relationship. It may seem to be moving slowly, but from what you say, it is moving.
It seems also that you are questioning yourself and your own reaction as much as you are questioning Carlos's plans and "intentions." Perhaps while on one hand you want to know where this is going, on the other hand you are as scared that he will want to be exclusive and move towards marriage as you are scared that he will leave. What you have right now is so good, that you worry that any movement will spoil it. Yet you know that without movement things stagnate, so that worries you too. All this sounds pretty natural to me.
If you want to get things moving faster, you might tell him how you are feeling. Some version of "this is too perfect" to go with his "you are too perfect" would be a good way to bring it up. And if in that discussion you happen to mention how you are torn between wanting the perfect moment to last and feeling that maybe you should be asking him questions about his intentions so that your opportunity to have a second child doesn't pass you by, maybe he will get the idea without feeling that you are putting him on the spot.
But I see no rush. It all sounds like it has good possibilities, and you are enjoying the present. What more can you ask after only five months?
Best,
Elsa
Excuse my "ignance" but... I'm confused. You say you're not sure you want a relationship, but yet you're saying you've been thinking of giving Carlos the push. How can you push him in the direction of something that you're not sure of? Or am I missing something?
Glad to see all is well and being enjoyed though...
Thanks Misty (boy! This thread sure caused some traffic! lol)
I definatly dont have my head in the clouds. I know what I am looking for, what he has to offer & what he can give right now. & really, what *I* also can or cant
I agree - although I dont think its anxiety about the relationship - its just that things seem almost "too" good - i know it sounds as if I am complaining that he "cant commit", but as its been pointed out, *I* really may not be quite there either. I think any anxiety I may come close to feeling is only b/c I wonder if its "ok" at this point, where we are, in the grand scheme of things - to NOT have that total committment. & I realize its fine, b/c its fine with both of US.
& youre so right. On 1 hand, he may be what I am looking for long term, but truly, if he asked me tomorrow if I would marry him, I would run for the HILLS! lol
No, its not ignorance, I can see how you'd be easily confused ... *I* am confused at times!
When i talked about giving him a push, I think i didnt really mean right now. My intention was to sort of leave things as they are & see what happens. I was more concerned about the "normalcy" of my being ok with where we are. Possibly some of my recent posts above to the last 2 people will explain it more to you.
Thanks
Isn't it funny how, when everything is perfect, we worry because it can't possibly be that perfect or because we know it won't be that perfect for long?
Enjoy it. As you say, why fix something that isn't broken? When you need more, you'll probably be able to ask for it.
Elsa
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