Update - at 5 month mark now ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Update - at 5 month mark now ...
28
Thu, 01-11-2007 - 9:23am

For those who are new, I SORT OF met this guy on line, lol.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 10:26am
Your relationship sounds like it's progressing along wonderfully, and at that slow rate that people mean when they say, "take it slow".
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2006
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 10:32am

Rebecca,

I read quite a few of your posts on various boards here on village and I followed your story with Carlos…. I just wanted to say that I am astounded by your amazing ‘never give up’ personality and attitude to life and what it throws at you, your optimism and *lust for life*. You come across as someone whose glass is always half full no matter what, you look beautiful in your pictures and your daughter is absolutely gorgeous. I also wanted to say that I believe Carlos just needs a bit more time,that is all. From what I have read so far, it looks like the two of you are perfectly matched in all important areas and were to some extent meant to meet and get together considering how you did meet! After what you have been through in the last few years, the very least that you deserve is something amazing (and completely and totally exclusive!) developing further with this man! I wish you all the very best with him; after a series of huge ‘downs’ you are due a HUGE up, and maybe he is it – I am quite positive he IS it.

Rocklady.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 10:46am

you wrote:

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 10:54am

Bottom line if this works for you then that's all that matters - I may not personally choose your approach but that's what makes me ME and you YOU so good luck and just enjoy if that is where you are.

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 1:07am
I tend to totally agree with you! Thanks!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 1:11am

Yes, thats sort of what I think I am realizing. Its "slow" ... & if thats what he needs (& likely ME TOO!) then its fine with me. Better in the end, whichever way it ends up.


I will be patient. I am much more comfortable with that , than pressing him. Some people have said "Press him, what do you have to lose?"

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 1:14am

Wow. Your reply brought tears to my eyes, thank you so very much. You forget that people can "know you" from other boards - & Lord KNOWS I have been around! From the Mommy boards, to Dealing with Addictions, to the Dometic Violence & recovery boards, to Divorce & custody to Loss of a Mother ... & now here. Sometimes I too sit back & think "Holy Crap, its been a rough few years!" but i guess my faith that things are meant to be how they happen, & that no matter what I have been thru, I am SO blessed with my family & my child, my friends & my career, that overall, I am a very lucky person.


Thank you so much for that last paragraph as well... I sure hope you're right!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2004
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 12:13pm

Rebecca, I've dated two pathological commitmentphobes in my lifetime and Carlos doesn't sound like one to me at all. He just sounds cautious and like he likes his life the way it is right now. I'd just keep giving him time and not worry too much. If a year goes by and he's still in the undecided place, then I'd push him a bit. But you are doing GOOD and it sounds like both of you are refraining from playing games.

Couple of quick things, the cardinal sign of a commitmentphobe is that they push you to get very involved with them very quickly. Doesn't sound like Carlos did that. Then, after you get involved, they run really hot and cold, to the point that you are going crazy. They talk about big plans for the future with you and then don't call you for an entire week. It's more than the John Gray caving thing. They are messed up inside. Doesn't sound like Carlos is doing any of that either, just that he moves slowly.

Hang in there, keep us posted. He seems like a real sweetie!

Chick

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