Update

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2005
Update
5
Wed, 12-07-2005 - 12:17pm
My guy that hadn't called me or anything finally contacted me yesterday. First he texted me while I was at work saying he'd call me later. Then he did call me. I was expecting some sort of an explanation for the week of absense, but got nothing. He just asked about how my weekend was, if I had to work, how work was, and other general stuff. He did breifly mention something about working a lot this weekend but still... he worked so much he couldn't call. And what about the days before the weekend he didn't call? I don't get it, I'm pissed. I shouldn't have to drag an explanation out of him should I? Should I bring it up, how? He's turning out to not be the guy I thought he was for the past months. But then again, I'm not surprised because he has canceled on our plans numerous times. What do you guys think I should do? Because at this point I'm ready to end it. Thanks girls!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
In reply to: nicki8705
Wed, 12-07-2005 - 12:28pm

Having recently dated a guy like this too – I made the decision to stop dating him as it was driving me batty of when I’d see him again and as soon as I’d stop thinking about him he’d start calling etc and asking about my plans. Not my style......he also used the “work is number one right now in my life card” and everything else is secondary – that’s great but no matter how busy you are it takes 30 seconds to send a phone call, email or text to say they are thinking of you how about reserving December 17th for a date – as a hypothetical .....

Bottom line – when a guy is “into you” you’ll know it. Work is an excuse – the right guy will make the time for you bottom line.

Putting my ego aside, this guy above – basically I wasn’t the right fit for him or something was missing or he would have pursued me harder. That’s just dating – you’ve been there, dated someone casually when it was convenient – you liked them but something was missing. It’s not personal; just dating and just because they don’t date us the way we want doesn’t mean something is wrong with them or they are a commitment phobic ok ? I think we tell ourselves that to make us feel better about the situation.

SP

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: nicki8705
Wed, 12-07-2005 - 12:44pm
If it made you mad (and you have a right to be peeved), casually ask him about it. Say something like "I was surprised when I didn't hear from you for almost a week. Was everything OK?" and see what he says. Don't fume and then let it explode the next time he does something like this. He's a guy, he probably doesn't even know you're PO'ed. No one is a mind reader and while you might think this is inconsiderate, he might be thinking that he just didn't want to call when he couldn't talk (lame excuse) or something else and unless you tell him you're not happy with what he did, he'll never know.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
In reply to: nicki8705
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 3:15am
This man is a time waster and you shouldn't waste your time dragging an explanation (LIE) out of him. Ignore him and move on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2005
In reply to: nicki8705
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 11:28am
Yea, I've decided things are over with him. He's not what I'm looking for it he can't make time to tell me he's even alive! Because yes I thought that at one point, who wouldn't, I know it was drastic. But I just don't think it's going to work out. I need more from him than what he's giving. Plus it's a LDR and I don't think I can deal with that. I don't see us moving closer together either because neither of us want to leave where we are. Wow, it sounds like I'm making excuses for ending it! Bottom line, he's not who I thought he was. Thank you everyone for your advice, it means a lot to me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
In reply to: nicki8705
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 7:33pm

good for you !! you are a strong lady and deserve much better!!!

I say give the boot and SUBSTITUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)