Update: Is he playing me?
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| Thu, 05-05-2005 - 10:17pm |
Listen to this e-mail that he sent me!! Why do I still want him?? I'm so stupid!!
"i think i did tell you why i couldn't be in a relationship right
> now, but i think i basically just said that i wasn't
> in a place in my life when i could be...i wasn't very
> specific...moving to a brand new area, 13 hours from anything and
> anyone i know has been an experience...i don't want to use the word
> traumatic because that's a little extreme, but it
> has been more difficult than anything i've ever done and more
> difficult than anything i can imagine doing...i'm not
> going to lie, i've cried myself to sleep more nights than i haven't
> since i've been here...i miss so many people back home...
> i miss my family more than i thought was ever possbile...i
> guess part of my thinking was if i could find someone
> on match to spend time with it would make it easy...it didn't...and
> before i realized how unfair that was to you, we
> were spending the night together...so i am sorry for that...i guess
> what i'm saying is that i just have so much baggage
> and i am such a mess right now, that i can't, in good conscious,
> bring someone else into my problems...that's the
> biggest reason that i can't be in a relationship right now...it
> would not be fair to whomever i was in the relationship
> with....
>
> i'm sure this is all still very confusing to you...and i'm sorry
> for that too...i'm not intentionally being
> confusing...that's how i am...i don't make sense a lot of the
> time...i have these thoughts in my head that just seem so
> perfect...but when i try to get them out in an email or by speaking
> them, they come out all wrong and not even close to
> what's in my head....
>
> so yeah...that's me...and i'm sorry for who i am...and i'm sorry
> for all the hurt and confusion that i've caused
> you....i hope you can forgive me...."
>
Can you believe that? And just to clarify, we just fell asleep together, we didn't have sex--I promise! I know people will pick up on that line!!
So, anyway, I told him Tuesday night that I had to step away for awhile, because I was really falling for him, and this is the e-mail response he sent me. It's hard, because I really like him, but I'm going to be strong!! Thanks for all your advice! It's what made me tell him goodbye. You guys are great!

Please don't call yourself stupid, ever. You read into some signals and he's the one who pulled back.
This is just another life experience. Everyone has suffered that kind of disappointment, so don't beat yourself up over it.
Now go and wink at someone!
amjay
Beware the man who lives far away from his family and misses them....
You are SO much better off now that you've decided to move on.
Hi - this is a lot of guy speak, let me translate for you:
-----
Dear Gullible,
I hope that you'll keep hanging around thinking that I might become more serious with you. I just need another few weeks so I can keep seeing Betty Big Boobies who I'm really putting a lot of effort into. By that time I should know if she's going to dump me or if I'll be having sex on a more regular basis with her.
Signed,
Peter Player
-----
IMHO the cliche about "not being ready for a relationship" is a big load of B/S. Send this muskrat back to the swamp where he belongs...
What Amjay said. You're not stupid; you're only guilty of believing the hype that says that other people will make you happy. By believing that, you (like so many of us) want a partner so you CAN be happy.
Unfortunately, no matter what, sooner or later you will lose that person (or they'll lose you). Whether through death, divorce, or just plain growing apart, sooner or later you'll lose them.
Then what do you have? Not happiness, if you've invested so much into the theory that they will make you happy.
Soooo... I say don't go wink at someone. Instead, go wink at YOURSELF. Fall in love with you, work on you. Look at this experience, not in a negative light, but in a positive one; say "hey, cj, what can you learn about yourself from this?"
Here's a hint: It's not that you are stupid (not at all- if you were stupid, you'd invest years into this guy) or that you're "weak" and need to "be strong".
You have everything you need to be happy; all you gotta do is reconnect with it, grow, and be in love with yourself. You know the glow that someone in love has? Well, if you're truly in love with yourself (and not in a shallow, egotistical way, but in a good, positive, healthy way) and comfortable with who you are, what you enjoy doing, and your place in life/the universe/Everything, you'll be unstoppable! :)