Update: I finally dumped him for good
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| Wed, 08-06-2003 - 8:28pm |
So, last Thursday we had dinner together to talk, and because I was unsure of things, had him bring my stuff up from his place, and I gave back his key. He still defended himself that he wasn't looking for anyone. We kind of left the dinner with things unresolved. He then e-mails me that same night, saying what a great dinner it was and how he was "still intensly attracted" to me and part of him still wanted to work things out. I e-mailed him back and said, part of me does too (dumb me!) but I still had a trust issue with him, and wanted to know exactly what doubts he had of us. This was Friday. I then didn't hear from him all weekend long, except for a short "we'll talk soon, I'll answer all of your questions, missing you" e-mail. I thought, ok, maybe he really is sorry and wants to patch things up.
That Sunday night I still hadn't heard from him. Curiously I get on match.com and guess what...he puts his ad BACK UP WITH A DIFFERENT USERNAME. I couldn't believe it. What a jerk. I immediately e-mailed him telling him not to bother writing me with answers because he's not serious, and I knew about the ad. Then he replies telling me "he wants me in his life, but knew it wouldn't work out". Yeah, that's called using someone, and I told him that. He wasn't happy when I said that, the truth hurts. I kicked him to the curb. I gave him a second chance and he blew it. I will never trust him again. I'm crushed but I will get over it. I will miss him, the person I thought was him anyhow.
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godluck and please post more often. We love all the posts we can get here.
Gail":)
But, my point is, it will still be hard for me to know what to look for "next time". Some guys are good at hiding themselves. For starters, I think I will try to find someone locally (not an hour away) and communicate what we are both looking for from the beginning, and listen to my instinct. There were times when I felt I didn't trust him, but I couldn't pinpoint anything...so I ignored it, but I guess it was trying to tell me something!
What a jerk! And like you point out, trusting your gut and communication are two important parts of a relationship.
As you know, I went through the same thing. I'm sorry for your pain, but you're definitely better off without him.
Sheri
Anyhow, I've posted a profile on Yahoo Personals, just something new, other than Match. I have no desire to go on some dating frenzy, but if someone really great catches me eye and writes me, I'll definitely give it a try. I'm just going to take it easy though, not expect anything, and who knows who will write. You never know!