Update on me

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Update on me
20
Wed, 12-13-2006 - 2:31pm

Been around but afraid to post any update because as many times as I say that I know I am NOT being smart with all of this I get responses that harshly keep saying that I am NOT being smart with all of this and cannot understand why I continue. Well guess what I haven't a clue and readily admitted that too. So from the beginning I know I am weak with this man and no one needs to remind me please. With that said I continue with my update.

He is still hanging in there job wise and his numbers are good at this point. In the middle of November we talked on the phone for a few hours and you could tell he was in a good place with the job issue. I told him I knew when his mood changed that he was doing better so I was quite relieved and hope he continues to push himself. We talked about a lot of things that night and he ended up singing to me again as usual. I get so lost in that with him. I still keep my distance from him ( he initiated the phone call that night and comes on a regular basis to visit me at my desk ) I expect nothing and have been less disapppointed. No more tears and less heartache. Just every once in a while I will make a wish or ask the man upstairs....(no not God but my Dad)....if he could find it in his heart to open himself up to me. So I have attacked from another angle giving it one last shot. I am working off the old expression..."The way to a man's heart is through his stomach" and he has been my guinea pig for my fudge experiementation. Never been much of a cook/baker but without any $$ for Christmas I thought that fudge would make a devine gift for family and friends and have been making different types of fudge recipes and I have him taste test them for me. Now mind you this man is Diabetic (2) and he promised that with all the sugar that he would NOT go into shock on me. He wasn't too fond of the chocolate peppermint fudge and iffy on the one with coconut but continues to encourage me to continue....tee hee.

And to my next update....as of January 2nd 2007 I am calling a "Man Moratorium". In May 2005 I started eating healthy and lost over 70lbs. I stumbled in my efforts early this year and have had such a hard time getting back where I want to be and I have gained 25 of those lost pounds. What is causing this? My reaction to the men in my life. I can't lose the weight and worry about useless men at the same time. I have eliminated my friend in Florida purely because he lived too far away and with his 3 children and everything else he is doing 3000 miles away it was a lose lose situation. (See I do see things clearly and very strong to make the tough decisions) Even though he promised to visit me in March it just wasn't going to be enough for me. We have parted ways and I miss him like crazy but I know that it's for the best. At this time there isn't a single man in the picture and the best time to make sure I do not allow any man to come into the picture until I am done with my weight loss. My job is shaky here as it's possible it's moving to another state and I have no backup plan. I am focusing far too much on other things and not enough on the things that are vital to my health and well-being. Bill has exactly 2 1/2 weeks to make his move or he's gonna be left out in the cold till 2008. We all know the reality is he won't make that move (even though the fudge would do it if anything was going to work...)and my year will be free of any added burden and all about being that healthy sexy skinny broad.

When the year is over and I am skinny I will then place my profile back on the online matchmaking sites and actively pursue a beautiful man that will treat me like the diva that I am.

Thanks all for reading and I am quite excited about the coming year.

F

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Thu, 12-14-2006 - 4:02pm

Dang.....I post publicly but every single little tiny thing I write is overanalyzed to attack me. I enjoy posting here and it helps me to keep myself in check because I need to hear things that sometimes I don't want to but know I need to but the fact that I am being criticized for giving a grown man something sugar in it because I trust that he will "eat responsibly". Do you for a second know how much I care about this man and how it hurts that someone would think I wouldn't care enough to just flippantly give the man I love something that would hurt him?? We have discussed at great lengths his eating habits and diabetics eat sugar. Pure and simple.....fact of the matter is sugar is what got him into the diabetic situation in the first place but he knows that if he overdoes it he will be ill. He knows I know I know he knows...we are very conscious of this (hence the oranges).

I give up because quite frankly I can ream most of the women on this board with the little nuances that I read about every single day....and yes sometimes I do which is a good reason why they attack me in return. I am a big girl and can completely ignore the attacks but I feel that I want to acknowledge them as attacks and not constructive criticisms. I appreciate honesty and I am one of the most honest people I know....but to expect that a 54 year old man would forego an occasional sugary substance because he's diabetic is ludicrous. He eats responsibly and I know this. It's not like I gave him 50 lbs of the stuff. He gets one little piece of each kind.

You have not offended me nor has Sisfox. It's just I am so not stupid about all of this. I watch over him everyday fearful of something happening to him and know that he is ultimately responsible for his own well being.

Thanks for the thoughts.

F

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Thu, 12-14-2006 - 4:07pm

You're right I am a horrible person to do this to the man I love. WOW I am so appreciative that you took the time to remind me what a terrible terrible and obviously not a real friend because I did such a horrible horrible thing. WOW.....I will go over to him right this very second and apologize for putting temptation in front of him and forcing him to eat the most amazing fudge ever. I will also go to my church and light a candle to give me the strength to keep from making that same mistake again.

WOW again thanks for letting me know that I should treat my grown up gorgeous friend like a 10 year old and make his choices for him. HHHmmm....I guess I flunked friend school.

F

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Thu, 12-14-2006 - 4:09pm
Being that *she* is the one who told us that he's diabetic ...I gave her credit and assumed she already thought of the risk and only fed him what he could reasonably permit. Surely they were mindful of it and didn't just go temporarily insane and consume massive amounts of chocolate. A little should be okay for some ppl who have diabetes.
Why the condescending posts about it people? Try to get her overall point and spirit of her posting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Thu, 12-14-2006 - 4:20pm

I appreciate the support!! I guess they think he is sitting at his desk right now surround by mounds and mounds and mounds of fudge. Doesn't sound like a bad deal when you really think about it....Oh wait that's what got me to the weight I am right now.

Thanks again for the support it is greatly appreciated. It's nice to see that someone is open minded and doesn't think I am a complete idiot.

F

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Thu, 12-14-2006 - 4:33pm
Over react much?


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 2:33am

I actually, as an RN, had questions about that too. But didnt mention it. Now Im glad i didnt!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 2:37am

I think, in my OPINION Fluffy, you COULD have just nicely said "Oh, no, you may have misunderstood. Although he is diabetic, he CAN have small amounts of sweets that are built into his diet. He is very careful with that & only had small tastes, so no harm done".


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 7:55am

I am truly sorry you feel that all the posts that disagree with you are an attack. My post was not intended that way nor have I ever attacked you, therefore feel it's unwarranted to make such a generalization.


I wish you luck with both your goals and the gentleman.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 9:23am

Kerry your posts were not attacking I think you know of what I was referring to. I welcome constructive criticism and learn alot from the people on this board. There are just some that cross the line to attacking.

Sorry you were offended Kerry you are not one of those who desire to rip me to shreds.

F

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 9:26am

I completely agree about the offering "me" the treats when I am trying to lose weight but I ASKED him first and he said yes. I am ASKED every single day and I say a gracious no thank you. It does not make the offerer a bad person because they know that I am trying to lose weight. It seems so simple yet everyone seems to be so disturbed over it. I will not assume what this man wants because that's called control. I asked....he said yes.

F

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