Update on my continuing OLD adventures

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Update on my continuing OLD adventures
36
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 11:55am

So, it appears the Rescheduler has disappeared again...I'm more annoyed than anything else, since we went out a bunch of times and I feel like he "should" have told me that he didn't want to see me any more rather than just disappearing. But you can't make people do the right thing, so oh well, I'm trying to just let it go.

Anyway, I put up another CL ad about a week ago and have been fielding a bunch of responses. Because of all the ice on the roads here I didn't end up meeting anyone until yesterday...originally I had meets scheduled for Tues and Wed but the Tues one got rescheduled because of the weather. So I ended up having two meets yesterday and both were really good.

The first was actually with a guy who answered my CL ad back in Sept but he was living in another city and planning to move back here soon. At my suggestion, we emailed once a week or so just to keep in touch while he was firming up his plans. Anyway, he's now here and we had just a great meet. He even brought me presents, LOL, including a CD he'd made for me! They were intended as a thank you for being so patient (his move was delayed a couple times). We really seemed to hit it off and had a great time talking...and we have 2 more dates scheduled (we're going to a sports bar to watch the Pats/Colts game on Sunday and then I invited him to a concert I have tickets for on Monday--normally I wouldn't see someone new 2 nights in a row but I thought he'd really enjoy this concert so I figured what the heck). He even called me right after I got home to say how much he'd enjoyed meeting me and that he couldn't wait to see me again. Now that's how a guy who's interested behaves ;-)! It could be overwhelming but it's not--he seems really grounded, just enthusiastic about me. Anyway, we'll see what happens of course, but it's nice to feel excited about someone new.

The 2nd guy was quite nice also. I didn't feel quite the instant connection I did with the first guy but I definitely felt enough of a connection that I want to see him again. He's going away this weekend but asked me out again for either Sun or Mon, and I had to turn him down. But we're going to talk when he gets back and plan another date.

So now I'm trying to decide if I even want to meet any of the other guys--there are a few others who I was planning to meet but now I don't really feel I want to bother--none of them seem as good on paper, if you will, as the two guys I met yesterday. But I know from experience that things may not work out with either of these guys so I should probably meet the others.

Sheri

Pages

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-26-2007 - 2:09am

Thanks, Mark. Just to be clear on what you're saying, if you were in my shoes (the other person has hinted about not dating other people but no clear statement or question to that effect), you wouldn't feel it was deceptive to not say something to the effect that you are dating others? That's what I'm reading from your post, but I just wanted to be make sure.

Sheri

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 01-26-2007 - 3:22am

I am not in your shoes nor I don't know this guy. I know I would talk about dating others if I was "close" to the other person. I do know I don't feel compelled to reveal my "private" life if the dating was casual.

So in direct answer to your question is, no I do not think it is deceptive by not telling the other person that I am dating others. Don't ask, don't tell.

I don't like to communicate by hinting or guessing. I tend to be direct. I either ask for a direct answer and I ask directly if I had any questions.

AND I'm not you with your guilty feelings, with your knowledge of him, with your feelings for him, with your values, with your history with him so far, ...

I eagerly await on the next installment of your saga...

Take care,

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 01-26-2007 - 3:59am
Yey! Sounds like things are really going well!

Photobucket

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-26-2007 - 11:51am

Thanks, Mark, I appreciate the clarification. I would tend to agree with you--right now I'm kind of feeling, if you're trying to tell me you want to be exclusive, then just SAY it, ya know, LOL? But as you say, I also need to filter this through what I know of him so far, our interaction, etc.

We'll see what happens. Date 5 will be some time this weekend--not yet sure when. But in the meantime, I have a date tonight with Bachelor #3--we'll see how that goes.

Sheri

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-26-2007 - 11:54am

Thanks, Rebecca! I'm mostly worried that we are mismatched in our levels of neatness--I get the sense that he's pretty organized and neat and I am emphatically NOT ;-). So the first time he sees my house will be interesting, LOL (assuming we ever get to that point).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Fri, 01-26-2007 - 4:53pm
I couldn't have said it better myself. My thoughts exactly :-) So Sheri, what small peanut said is what I believe too. Sometimes you just have that feeling that it might just work out for the best and you don't need those back up dates. I think back up dates are for fear that it won't work out with the one that we are really interested in so we can have something to fall back on. When I met my current guy all those rules went out the door for the both of us too. We became exclusive a month into dating and both decided on our own without discussing with each other that we would only give eachother a shot after date #3. I say what the heck, go on one more date with this other man, but if you continue to really like the guy you are currently seeing then I would be honest with the other one right away and just give it a shot with this guy, without actually discussing your dating philosophy. Sometimes it could hurt the other person if they really like you and know that you are dating others. But if you only go on one more date just to see with this other guy and then decide then, you are really not lying or hurting this man because you haven't discussed exclusivity yet.

Pages