update on RL guy...am I that gullible?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
update on RL guy...am I that gullible?
1
Sun, 01-15-2006 - 9:27am

Update to an update...

In our last episode, I was dithering about whether to call the guy I met in a bar last weekend -- we had had a great time, danced together, I was very interested in him and we exchanged numbers and I had said I'd go to this bar again the next night but I didn't go.

I did call him the following day but his phone was forwarded to a cell with a full voice mail. He has not called me.

Between me and my friends we know pretty much everybody in this small metro area. So I had a couple of people checking out his story. He comes from a fairly high-profile family and word around town is that he's married, or at least living with a woman in a pretty high-profile job and that she was sporting a big rock a few years ago. My sources *think* but are not sure that they got married.

I checked it out and she is listed as living at the same address as him. It's NOT the house he told me he lives in, however -- it's probably five or six houses away from that one. Then, I found the phone number he gave me in a reverse directory listing and it came back to a different name and a different address, but also in that neighborhood. I have another friend who is acquainted with him professionally and thinks he's an arrogant SOB, and a real schmoozer, which does fit. He IS a well-respected person in his field and is actually on the state licensing board for the profession, which (one would think) indicates a certain level of character. Or maybe just political pull.

What blows me away is that he was adamant that he is not married or attached to anybody and he was carrying on with me in this bar in the same town where we both live, in front of people he knows. (Not to mention that it's bad enough being a Divorced Woman in this small town, and if he's married now I am the Divorced Woman who danced with a married man in a bar.) But the biggest puzzle in my mind -- I will never understand men -- is that he was very insistently asking me whether I want to get married again. I have never had a guy hitting on me ask me that.

The only possible *acceptable* explanations would be that 1. They never wound up getting married and he got sick of waiting, and moved out but stayed in the neighborhood -- the house in question was vacant for a long time, and maybe because he knows so many people, he decided to rent it or part of it; there's a big apartment attached to it. 2. That they were married but broke up very recently. The woman reputedly was the Other Woman in a affair with a local politician not that long ago -- maybe she was cheating on this guy with that old affair. I also hear she's kind of a flake. It's possible that the phone listing is simply out of date, and the records that showed their shared address were definitely at least a couple of years old.

But I am not by any stretch investing any energy thinking these things are true. I'm just shaking my head at the whole thing. And realizing more and more every day that nobody who writes fiction really has to make anything up. We only have to look around.

Sposa

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-15-2006 - 12:42pm

I don't know that you're "that gullible"...the guy sounded pretty smooth from what you posted about him originally but I figured you took everything he said with a big grain of salt at the time, right?

Maybe he's found that the "do you want to get married again" works well as a smoke screen to make women believe he's NOT married. Who knows!

Speaking of fiction, I just re-watched "Sideways" the other night. I think all single women should watch this at least once a year to be reminded of how easily some (I'm tempted to say most) men lie.

Sheri