update on today's meet

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
update on today's meet
9
Sun, 08-14-2005 - 4:13pm
Well, I met the guy at the movie. He arrived there when the previews had already started so he was kinda late. We talked a bit during the movie, as much as you can anyway. I wasn't attracted to him at all though, for many different reasons. Maybe he felt the same about me. When we were leaving, I said that I'd see him on msn again and he agreed. I wasn't that into meeting him to begin with but I decided to give it a shot anyway and see what happens. So that's that.


Edited 8/14/2005 4:14 pm ET ET by dream_angel2005
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
Sun, 08-14-2005 - 7:18pm

Does MSN have a dating site?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Sun, 08-14-2005 - 10:55pm

Hi dream angel,

Sorry the meet didn't go well. I have never met to watch a movie for a first meet. I like to see the person in the light and closer, plus I don't feel that you can talk enough in a movie theater and to me that is the purpose of a first meet, to talk more. Plus I don't like it when people around me are talking so much in the theater - I think it's rather rude. I mean a comment here and there is fine, but the non-stop talkers or ones who talk on their cells in there are plain rude - yes JMHO.

I prefer a shorter meet like for coffee or a drink. A lunch meet is ok also since it is shorter usually than a dinner meet. But I have done dinner meets also. I hate to get stuck with someone for hours when I know there is no interest there. For me shorter is better.

Sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Sun, 08-14-2005 - 11:46pm
MOvie!!!???? Don't get me wrong but why a movie for a first date?? I mean how do you get to know someone at the movies? i mean i think a movie is a bit more of an actual date w/dinner.. and can be a little intimate if it is w/someone you like, dark theater, close, hold hands.. coffee or light lunch is much more my typical first date, so you can talk, and see eachother and find out if there is any chemistry. i have never known anyone to do /ask for a movie on a first date..hmm
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 12:29am
Hi Dream Angel,
A first meet at a movie is pointless. The purpose of meeting is to communicate. Every first meet should be with the intention of getting to know a person and letting them get to know you. You gotta have conversation. I find I get much more from a 90 minute lunch with someone I DON'T feel that chemistry with. I can usually tell within the first 10 minutes whether or not I'd like to see this person again. If I don't, I make the most of it anyway. I've had very nice 2 hour lunches/coffee dates with guys I knew I just wasn't gonna see again.
If new to OLD, one of the trickiest things is learning how to talk to a person you've never met before about yourself AND asking them questions. People tend to get nervous and ramble, you talk about yourself a lot but don't stop to really listen to the other person.
If I don't see the potential for a second date, I use that opportunity as practice. That way when I do meet someone I really like it's easier to have a natural and productive conversation.
Use EVERY opportunity to hone your conversational skills, because ultimately that's what keeps a relationship thriving long after the fireworks die down.
Good Luck,
Chele
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 7:22am
I don't need you all to tell me that a movies isn't the best place to meet. I know that. The thing is that I wasn't all that big on meeting this guy anyway. We had nothing in common, really. We were only chatting on IM once in awhile. I never had any feelings for him as I do for some other guys I chat with. I would never go to a movie with somebody that I wanted to get to know. I really wouldn't want to have a whole conversation with him in person. Everything you're telling me about first date movies, I already know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2005
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 9:13am

Why did you go out with someone you have no interest in? Especially when you don't even want to get to know them to see if there is any potential. Sounds like a waste of time to me. I feel bad for the guy..


We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 11:00am
Then I don't get it... why did you meet him in the first place? and why tell us all about it then get pissy about the feedback?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 11:14am

I know movies aren't the best "first meet" places, but I've done it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 11:57am
It seems like the more that one experiences the highs and lows of OLD, you really begin to listen to your gut more. You ask yourself if this person interests me enough to commit 1-2 hour of my time. If yes, them commit to that time and use it wisely.
Everyone does this differently and we all make mistakes...as the saying goes, I'd rather regret the things I did, than regret the things I didn't do.
I'm in my 40's and my approach to OLD is a bit more practical. It's important to keep and open mind, have fun and learn, learn, learn;-)
Chele
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