Update..for any who may be interested...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Update..for any who may be interested...
41
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 3:54pm

Ronnie and I have been dating for a little over three months.

CL-Truewild1969

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 8:24pm

I think this matter depends on age and goals. At my age, I wouldn't dream of trying to make life conform to some present schedule: date one year, engaged six months, etc.

On the other hand, I have never lived with a man (although I lived in the same house, as I became lovers with a housemate at one point in my life), so for me it would be a giant step, with or without marriage. I've done a lot of thinking about it, visualizing, etc. What I most visualize is....egad! what about all my STUFF? In five decades one accumulates a lot.

I am serious! For me, the scariest thing about moving in with someone would be giving up my apartment (too small for 2) and MOVING somewhere else, with all the trouble and expense that involves....imagine if it didn't work out, and I had to move again in a few months? Find a place to live, pay a mover again... Oh, it doesn't bear thinking about!

So it is not morals or romantic notions that would make me hesitate (not that my boyfriend has suggested it...I hinted and he deflected the hint). It's just practicality.

Jodie seems to have assessed her situation clearly and I am really happy for her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 8:28pm

I agree, Marigold! The ring will not guarantee anything!

Sara

 
Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 9:49pm

True about there being no guarantees. However, I can't fathom living with someone I met only a month before...that's a virtual stranger in the greater sense. It's so easy to be on one's best behavior for that small amount of time, to let someone only see the best of you & vice versa. To overhaul my whole life to take such a big chance on a virtual stranger, distance be damned, is nuts to me. Sorry, have to say it. If you spent 8+ hours per day, every single day of the month...maybe, but that's such a huge gamble, like going all-in in poker with only one card. I don't even think you can fall in love with anyone in a month, let alone live with them. Again, everyone is an adult here (at least I think so) & capable of making decisions, but I feel so strongly about this I can't keep quiet. Take it for what it's worth. I still don't see what the big hurry is. Just IMO.

Edit: Gawd, now that I re-read this, I'm sorry if I'm preaching. I'm just trying to understand Sara's decision based on what she's told us on this forum. I can't wrap my logic around it. Even when I was madly in love with the man I would have married, the subject of living together came up after 1.5 years & I was scared to do it...was his idea. I just like having the deck stacked in my favor before making such a drastic change to my life. Just don't understand. And I'm too interested in this because I haven't the time to have a dating life of my own, so of course I have to keep busy at work. ;)

Edited 12/9/2005 9:55 pm ET by travkitty




Edited 12/9/2005 10:00 pm ET by travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2005
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 10:05pm
I'm not even sure she's divorced yet from the 3rd one. Good thing there is TOS.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 11:08pm

What do you mean by your reference to TOS?


*cold meds have me here*


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 11:44pm
IMO - it means she'd like to rail on her but because of the TOS and the fact she might get thrown off the board, she wouldn't. Of course, it's my opinion and is affected by a couple/few glasses of wine since I've had a crappy day/week/month/quarter... fill in blank here.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 12:30am
But what does TOS stand for?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 12:36am

Vexer... *hugs* for your bad week.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 12:38am
TOS = Terms of Service, the rules we all agreed to before we started posting here. Basically TOS states what acceptable behavior is.

Avatar for eatatmoms
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 12:57am

Correct me if I'm wrong, but usernames that reference sex acts are against TOS, right??


Melanie