that was fun, we should do this again

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
that was fun, we should do this again
16
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 10:28am

Do you see anything wrong with saying this at the end of a date? I think the next time i have a good date and i want to see the guy again, i might say this if nothing has been said of future plans. I feel like as women, we are often trained to let the guy do everything first in terms of showing interest, asking out etc. I hate that feeling of when you are on a great date, you leave and nothing is said of any future plans. You wonder, will i see this person again and wait and wonder all week if theyll call or email. Perhaps neither of you wants to go out again, fine...but if you do, I think it should be said right then and there. That way there isnt as much stress of waiting and/or wondering. Of course you could say, we should do this again and the guy could lie and said, yes we should when he doesnt mean it. But at least you know that you've said it, shown some interest and if he doesnt call...you know it's not becuase you didnt show interest

I dunno...i think this is harmless thing to say and it could really ease pressure if two people are into each other. It also shows confidence.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 10:36am

I usually just say, in a very warm, sincere tone, "I had a great time, thank you SO much", but I usually leave it up to the guy to bring up getting together again. I feel saying that conveys that I'm interested...but OTOH, I don't really see a problem with your line. If you're comfortable putting the bug in his ear about getting together again, then go for it! It can't hurt, although as you say, you have to be prepared for the guy to give you a "sure I'll call you" line that he doesn't mean.

BTW, if I'm NOT interested, I'll just say something like "it was nice meeting you, take care".

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 11:01am

do you think, 'it was nice to meet you' always translates into not being interested?

Because i have said this before and genuinely meant it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 11:02am
Every time I've had a guy say that, I never see/hear from
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 11:18am

I mean it too. It was nice to meet them, but that's it. If I'm interested, I'll convey a whole lot more enthusiasm than that ;-).

Besides, it's the combination with "take care" that conveys the lack of interest in seeing them again.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 11:36am
My experience is that you can't believe what they say after a first meeting. I do make it clear that I'm insterested in seeing them again by saying "I would like to see you again, if you are interested then give me a call/email" and leave it at that. That way, there is no question that I communicated my interest. People can say anything, words are cheap, it's actions that count. I've learned after 9 months of OLD to NOT have any expectations when meeting a guy or based on what he says after a first meeting.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 11:42am

Oh, yeah, even if a guy makes a 2nd date while we are still on the first, I remain skeptical that it's actually going to happen. I find it works best for me to assume that each contact I have with a new guy early on is going to be the last.

Your line definitely conveys that you're interested, and that's great that you're comfortable saying that. I prefer that the guy do that, so I don't go that far, but everyone's different, so you gotta do what works for you ;-)!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 11:52am

Sheri

The reason I say "I would like to see you again, if you are interested then give me a call/email" is more for me and then I don't wonder if the reason he didn't follow-up was because he thought I wasn't interested. You know, some guys don't understand our "signals" that we are interested and need to received the messsage in a direct manner.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 12:14pm

'I prefer that the guy do that, so I don't go that far'

May I ask why? I prefer a guy to make quite a few of the first moves...but not everything. If he's already asked for my #, asked me out, paid for the meal, i see nothing wrong with saying this.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 12:22pm

Because I'm old-fashioned in that respect, I guess, and I've learned from experience that a guy who's interested will ask you out, so there's no need for you to do so. I am happy to indicate interest, but not to take the next step.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with doing what you are thinking of, it's just not for me.

Sheri

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 12:24pm

And that's totally cool if it works for you ;-). We all need to do what we are comfortable with.

I personally want a guy who is willing to bridge that gap even if he's not 100% sure I'm interested (although I feel what I say makes it clear I am). So that's why I don't take that extra step.

Sheri

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