Was it disrespectful or not??
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| Sun, 01-28-2007 - 10:40am |
I've been talking with a guy online for a little over a month. Two fridays ago, we decided that it was time to meet up. Here's where it gets a little weird. We have not spoken on the phone. I asked him if he was free on the upcoming Sunday to meet up for coffee...(he has asked me a couple times prior to this to meet up...but being the holidays and going to visit the family, I truly was unavailable - he told me to let him know when I was ready to meet) His response to this was that he would love too but he would have ot let me know about what time. I offered my phone number to him...but he said that he would find me on the computer or send me an e-mail. So basically, I took this as he didn't want my number..which I find very odd and suspicious. Do you?? Although I didn't wait around for him to contact me, I did check my e-mail a couple of times...but I continued on with my life and still planned things...I figured by Saturday night, I hadn't heard from him so I wasn't holding my breath and if he planned on contacting me Sunday well a little late planning and I would just say sorry I didn't hear from you so I made other plans. Well it turns out..I never heard from him until Wednesday. Yes, 3 days after we were supposed to meet. He did send me an e-mail apologizing...and saying something came up and he would never intentionally "blow me off". I am a pretty understandable person...and I completely understand that unexpected things happen that we need to deal with. I'm 100% fine with that. However, I did find it disrespectful that he waiting 3 days to contact me to let me know why I didn't hear from him. Am I wrong in thinking this way??? He has sent me several e-mails stating he is sorry, and he doesn't blame me for being mad. Honestly, I'm not mad, upset, or even disappointed....its the respect issue! TO me RESPECT is everything. And the fact he couldn't find 2 seconds to write an e-mail saying he was sorry but something came up...even that night or the next day...I do have a HUGe problem with that. So last night..I got a 4th e-mail from him..all it said was "you can't be that mad, can you?" so my response to him (as I did not respond to the other e-mails) was "actually, I'm not mad at all. I'm a pretty understandable person. I understand things come up unexpectedly and we need to deal with them. However, I did find that waiting 3 days to contact me and explain why I never heard from you was disrespectful. To me respect is everything" that is all I wrote....
Am I wrong in thinking this way??
I mean this is my first impression of the guy...it's called common courtesy...right???? I don't want to be involved with a guy, that right off the bat, could care less about blowing me off. Although, I don't know 100%, but I'm pretty sure...that it wasn't anything that involved him being out of town for that whole time, as he just started a new job a couple weeks ago, so I'm almost sure he went to work on Monday.
What is your take on this?? Was I wrong in responding that way???

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Mistylavender:
How am I confused or even desperate? I have written this guy off! If you read my OP my response to him was the following:
"He has sent me several e-mails stating he is sorry, and he doesn't blame me for being mad. Honestly, I'm not mad, upset, or even disappointed....its the respect issue! TO me RESPECT is everything. And the fact he couldn't find 2 seconds to write an e-mail saying he was sorry but something came up...even that night or the next day...I do have a HUGe problem with that. So last night..I got a 4th e-mail from him..all it said was "you can't be that mad, can you?" so my response to him (as I did not respond to the other e-mails) was "actually, I'm not mad at all. I'm a pretty understandable person. I understand things come up unexpectedly and we need to deal with them. However, I did find that waiting 3 days to contact me and explain why I never heard from you was disrespectful. To me respect is everything" that is all I wrote...."
He has not upset me, nor am I mad...how can I be mad? I've never met this guy...so basically..my feeling is whatever!! NO LOSS! I'm not chasing him..therefore I'm NOT DESPERATE! This guy is HISTORY!! I RESPECT myself and know I DESERVE to be treated as good as good can get! QUite honestly, this guy has already proven to me he can't be counted on!
Please explain..what exactly am I putting myself through?????
If your not a phone person, thats fine...but let me ask you one question..if you tell someone you are going to e-mail them to let them know your availability...wouldn't you follow through with it?
Again, I understand not everyone likes talking on the phone....I did just find it odd..he didn't even want my number...like one of the other posters say...even to say..I will call to confirm but I'm not a phone person..would have been fine.....basically, when he declined to want my # I figured this guy was history...I mean seriously...although I also like to e-mail, I also like to talk to someone before I meet them in person. To me if you have a difficult time on the phone, chances are you may also have difficulty with conversation in person..just my opinion. I don't let a phone call judge what the outcome of the date will be..but at least it gives me a heads up as to what to expect!!
Thank you to everyone that has responded! I guess I was just looking for some reinsurance that I did the right thing by telling this guy telling this guy he was RUDE and that I wasn't overreacting!! NEXT>.....
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