waste of time

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
waste of time
5
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 3:14am
Forgive me, I'm new to this message board and this is my first post. I need so advice, for two years now I have been chatting online with this guy. We usually talk about our daily lives and whatever else comes to mind. A few months ago, a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to join her on a trip. This trip happens to be in my guy's hometown. So I told him that I would be coming to town on a visit. We have decided to meet when I get to town. But now I'm not so sure, during the last two years that we've been chatting I've noticed that I've always instant messaged him first. He's never made the first move in contacting me, we could both be online at the same time and he never makes any attempt in contacting me. I also noticed that I always start our conversations and keep them going. If I don't say anything then he doesn't.We haven't even talked on the phone once. I tried to throw the idea of a phone call out there once before. I ask him if he wondered what my voice sounded like and he replied " yeah sometimes I wonder", but he never took that step to ask me for my number. I asked once before what was he thought of me and he said he liked that I wasn't " emotional" like most women he knew, he also said that liked talking to me and he found me attractive". With all of that said I wanna know if I should bother to meet him or if he's even interested in me at all, what should I do??
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
In reply to: hopeless926
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 3:26am

What are you asking? Seriously?

Are you seriously asking if a guy who has been chatting with you for TWO YEARS but who has never asked for your number, who has never talked about coming to see you, who has never reached out to talk to you... you're asking if he might not be into you all that much?

Um, yeah- it's a possibility.

I hate to break it to you, but this guy is very not into you. If he were, he would have been trying to do some of those things, probably about 1 year and 11 months ago.

Wake up and smell the coffee. He's not into you. He sounds like a decent IM buddy, and that's it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
In reply to: hopeless926
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 7:18am

I think your title says it all. "Waste of time."

Don't bother with him. He's not interested.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
In reply to: hopeless926
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 10:33am

Hi and welcome to the board.

heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
In reply to: hopeless926
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 4:08pm
If he was interested in you, he would have made much more of an effort to contact you and speak with you. Whether meeting him is a waste of time depends on what your reason is for meeting him. If it's because you're thinking that there is a possibility that this may end up leading somewhere, then you shouldn't bother.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2005
In reply to: hopeless926
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 4:55pm

Hi,
I agree with the others, If he’s really interested, he would have been more proactive. Having been in what seem a very similar situation ( a very pleasant email exchange that I always seemed to initiate i.e. emails, IM’s calls ) I realized, with the help of the wonderful people on this board actually, that, it happens. I think I understand that some men do like when a women is assertive enough to make the “the first move (S) “but there’s only so much that one can do, if he’s content with only replying. My suggestion to you if I may make one,is “ignore” the man when you’re online, i.e. no IM’s no emails etc and wait to see what happens??? That’s what did with my Mr independent chase me guy … and I have not heard from him since ….. I beginning to think it is his lost too … no matter how self-centered it sounds to my ear ….

But then again as a I am staring to understand guys like that are part of the online dating “game”.

Best of luck with next one
Winnie




Edited 6/15/2006 10:20 am ET by funnywinnie10