We CAN handle the truth!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
We CAN handle the truth!
10
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 9:52pm

Hi Y'all,

What I am getting from a lot of the different discussion, and Tammy said it so well near the end of her thread, recently; we CAN handle the Truth! In fact, we women (and prob the men,too, si?) would rather hear a "I had a good time" and nada more.

If you want to ask me out again, you know how to contact me, but do not appease Yourself and begin to network me for 'what day is best?" "what is your work like this week?", and I put out that effort, never to hear from them...or maybe they Do call, but do not mention that so=called meeting that went by the by!

Agreed that some people are trying to be polite, and some Are very busy,but I hold that if they are interested it is more a case of "where there's a will, there's a way"; one of my newest wrote in reply to the other photos and info he asked for with a quickie today: "Loved the email and pics, today is brutal, but look forward to writing more soon." That is what I call "interested". (maybe, kinda, 'ish'? One never knows with OLD, but I do like that better! :)

When did it become common knowledge that women Can NOT handle the truth, and was I absent that day?

Truly,
Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 10:23pm

I guess we must have missed that memo.

Linda
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 8:43am

I think that was very well said, Cupcake. It's amazing how people can make things so much more difficult - both for themselves and for others - when they think they are taking the easy way out.

And if you needed any more evidence of a world going crazy: (lets see if I can post the link correctly) http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&e=14&u=/nm/odd_dutch_love_dc

-N

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 9:09am

<>

I'm with you. I think that's a common newbie move, posting profiles on multiple sites and waiting for the multitudes to respond. I've been doing this about a year and I've done multiple sites in that short period of time (almost all as a paying member): lavalife, salon, match, yahoo, matchmaker, eh. I'm down to just match now and I don't check it nearly as often as I used to (I was a crazy newbie - checking practically hourly). This stuff just wears you down and you get so sick of seeing the same faces (I'm sure they're just as sick of mine :) I like LG's idea of one month on, one month off.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 5:34pm
I'm new here so, I hope that I am not
being repetitive with this question.
I would like to preface said question
with the fact that, I mean no offense
to any men out there but: Have any
women ever pulled the ghost act? I
have dated a lot and when I don't have
proper chemistry etc. with someone
I am simply honest with them. I
figure it may sting at first but
aren't they better off in the long
run?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 6:15pm

BBW,

You will get differing opinions on this issue from the other board members. I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to this but I prefer to be told outright. That way I can go home and just flush her out of my system. But that's just my opinion.

Too prove this point, in 1996 I met a sweetie on-line and agreed to meet her in a nightclub in San Antonio. I drove down there (90 miles) and met her at the door. We sat down and had a drink and she said she had to go to the bathroom. Well, after 15 minutes I began to get the idea she had split or she had constipation. Sure enough she had split. I would have preferred she just told me upfront she was on crack.

TT

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 7:25pm
Haven't "dated" a whole lot myself - I'm pretty new to OLD & otherwise have only been in relationships. But what I would probably do, if I had at least *met* someone face to face, I'd be honest but at least nice about it. Like I probably wouldn't say "I didn't feel any chemistry" because they could take it hard and I'm not out to hurt anyone. But I might say something like I can't see this turning into a long term thing, which is what I'm looking for, but it was nice meeting you & take care. I've ghosted a couple times when it was only a couple of emails or an awkward IM chat & it was obviously not a match - and they never bothered writing back either so I figured the feeling (or lack of) was mutual. To each their own though, and everyone has different theories on what is appropriate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 10:48pm

Hi PHX and All,

I have done the same; if that first date or chat was not good, said "thank you, but no thank you", as kindly as possible. Never a "you" statement (ie, "you suck" :), but a "I don't feel we are a good match. good luck".

Have I EVER had more than one date with a man, Acted all into them, maybe flirted and hugged or light kiss goodnight, given them the idea I wanted more by chatting about vacation places and "which are your favorite?", or said that they were what I wanted in a man? I have Not, and That is what I call 'vaporizing with a vengeance"--it can be hurtful and confusing. Now, the 'simple vapor" where they don't get in touch and you do nothing to further contact, either...yes, it is allowed here on Planet Cupcake. No need for snide comments, just let it roll.

I would in ANY case, though, prefer a taste of the Truth!

Truly,
Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 5:49am

>>the 'simple vapor" where they don't get in touch and you do nothing to further contact, either...

That seems to be the SOP except for with really persistent guys who don't get the message/hint.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 10:15am
TT, cute post :)
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 10:25am
And, P.S. that was very boorish of her!
I'm sorry that you had the misfortune of
chosing her, of all people, to
(and drove 90 miles) meet.