We never go out anywhere

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
We never go out anywhere
7
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 5:57pm
Hi everyone.

So...In a previous post I explained that I like online dating because I'm a homebody and don't socialize much, which makes it hard to meet people. Anyway, while browsing through ads I came across a lot of men who described themselves as very active, athletic, always on the go etc. Many were looking for women who are just as active as they are. I often read the words "No couch potatoes, please." Well, I may not be proud to admit it but I am a couch potato. Usually if I force myself to go out and socialize, I end up feeling uncomfortable and spend the whole time wishing I was at home. (This has nothing to do with self-esteem or anxiety - I just like the quiet comforts of home).

For about two months now I've been dating someone that I did meet online. Turns out, he also doesn't like to go out much. And so...we never go out anywhere. We pick up food or order in and we watch movies. He has asked if I prefer to eat in the restaurant or just take it to go - and I say take it to go. Some people say that we're perfect for each other since neither one of us like to go out. But...mostly from hearing how other people date, I've come to question our dating style.

We did go out on our first date - restaurant and then a walk in the neighbourhood. We also went out on our 4th date - a restaurant and a movie. In his profile, as favourite activities he listed fishing, movies and intimate conversations. When I asked him how he usually spends his free time when we're not together he says that he walks his dog, sleeps, visits his parents or rents a movie.

So, here I was looking for someone who would accept my homebody nature - and I did. And now I'm wondering if this is normal.

What do you think?

jhoover21

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Avatar for kelstev
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 6:07pm
What's normal? I know I wouldn't be able to enjoy that type of life, but that's me. If this is what you two enjoy, then what's the problem? You aren't here to do what others enjoy, only what you enjoy with one another. Unless you're not enjoying it? Just asking since you are questioning it.

Kelly

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 6:45pm
Hi,

I agree with Kelly, what is normal? Do what you are comfortable with and not what you see others doing. Its like the old saying "if everyone jumps off the cliff, will you jump off the cliff too?". Who cares if everyone else dates by going out - if that's not what your into, thats not what your into.

I'm sure you've followed my exploits with Lloyd and most of the time we're just at his place eating dinner and watching a movie, but if we feel like going out we do. Just depends on what we're in the mood for. Just do what makes you happy, not what makes you uncomfortable.

Just my 2 cents,

Gabi

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 6:50pm
It sounds to me like you all are occasionally going out to the movies, restaurants, etc. Whatever you enjoy doing together is fine...

I think that online ads and the attractions that men list for potential dates are often a bit dramatic. I can't tell you how many people I see or hear from that "have an active lifestyle" or "work out 5 times per week, run 3 miles a day,etc." Come on, lighten up! I think that no one goes out all the time, and to imply that you do is probably misleading.

I think its more "normal" to be honest w/ yourself and others about what you like, rather than portray yourself as some workout, partying, social machine. Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 6:51pm
Well, for one...there is no such thing as normal. Normal to you might be weird to some one else and visa versa. I have to admit I am a homebody too. I'm not much for going out and the like and would much rather stay at home and hang out with who ever I'm with. As long as you're happy that's all the matters and you shouldn't care what anyone else thinks...unless one of you is complaining that you don't like your way of doing things? He sounds terrific and I hope you guys are happy together for a long time:)

M.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 10:02pm
I think if it makes both of you happy, then why not - just because it wouldn't work for me, or maybe someone else, is irrelevant - I like a nice balance myself and one of my favorite things about S and I is that we do socialize a lot - I love it- and I work out with him, we do a lot of walks in the park, we went biking, etc. But that's just me - who knows if what we do is "normal" - whatever that means. It's normal if you're both satisfied with the level of activity.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 9:03am
I think you found someone like yourself and there is nothing wrong with that at all. There are alot of people who like to stay in doors and not go out much. Sure saves alot of money! lol You are very normal and don't question a good thing. Just make sure his reasons for staying in are like your own and not because of insecurity and anxiety. OK? Hugs! Sounds like a match. Go with it and dont question it so much.


Gail:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 11:12pm
Thank you all for your responses.

I can stay at home 7 nights a week watching t.v., browsing online, reading, painting, listening to music etc. and think nothing of it. I enjoy my own company and rarely feel bored. But for some reason, it didn't seem "normal" for dating. I guess my only real concern is that perhaps we're limiting ourselves by not really getting to know each other in various situations.

jhoover21

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