wedding after wedding

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
wedding after wedding
6
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 2:06am

get sick of it? wedding after wedding? i'm becoming so cynical and im trying my hardest not to feel this way. honestly, i realized sitting at this family friend's wedding tonight(datelss I might add but i guess im used to it now), society really makes ME feel cynical bc of the acceptance you get when you are in a relationship - or better yet married.

90% of the time I'm ok with what I feel. But tonight, it just really made me feel badly about my single-dom at 28. ive got 3 more wedding this yr, so I better get used to this feeling ... I really hate weddings.

HOw does this relate to anything on this topic here of OLD - well OLD didn't work for me and it won't. What else is there?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2003
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 9:35am

I know how you feel. Although by 49, the number of weddings I get invited to has certainly diminished. Here's how I deal with it....I just politely decline, send a gift and don't go! Problem solved!!! Then I don't have to be tortured by sitting there feeling sorry for myself and endure the plethora of rude questions like "When are you going to meet someone and settle down?"

ABM

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 10:34am

Hey sg77! I'd ask where you've been but it sounds like you have been going to weddings! :-)

I know exactly how you feel. When I graduated college and then when I graduated grad school (right about your age), I had a big rush of weddings where I was going to several every year. It DOES suck. I was usually dateless and hated every minute of how I felt 1) that it did seem so expected that everyone get married - if it was a family wedding, someone would be bound to ask "so are you seeing anyone?" and if I did by some miracle have a date, someone would be asking "Sooo, how long have you been seeing each other?" or "So when is it your tunr?" and 2) that there was some level of jealousy because I DID want that (or so I felt).

Usually at the latest ones, I went with a big group of friends from grad school and we would go and have a blast at the reception. That would definitely help make things better. But still, even now when I go to the random wedding, I feel more cynical and thinking things about how they shouldn't be getting maried (the last wedding I went to, they SHOULDN'T) or something negative. That can't be good.

Short of not going, there isn't much you can do except just refuse to let it get to you which is obviously easier said than done.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 11:25pm

thanks annbeagle and vexer. Not going ot the weddings isn't an option (i guess i could but it would look really bad)... so I have to go unfortunately!

AH Ive been aroudn , actually having fun - except th eamt of mass weddings!!! just been busy catching up with work and goin out... for the most part ive been good ;)...

and todya i spent most of the day with two brides to be and their fiances. i have fun w/ them, but all they talk about is their wedding. its annoying but at the same time the most special time of their life. ITs difficult for me to listen without wanting to gag.

I'm better todya but last night was just really annoying. thanks i'll make it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 8:56am

"and todya i spent most of the day with two brides to be and their fiances. i have fun w/ them, but all they talk about is their wedding. its annoying but at the same time the most special time of their life. ITs difficult for me to listen without wanting to gag."

Wait until they start having kids! I'm over the "6 weddings a year thing," and am now going to countless baby showers and hospitals to visit the newborns. Some friends have 6 month olds at this point and all I EVER hear is how "The baby did this or that" or the pregnant ones groan on and on about their aches and pains and weird things happening with their body (TMI!) I seriously want to vomit! I'm sure some of it is difference in lifestyles now, as my friends priorities have changed. But common! There are more things to talk about for an hour than when the umbilical cord will fall off!

Layx2

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 6:42pm

When I was in my 20s, I found weddings to be a good place to meet guys... maybe not life partners, but there always seemed to be someone fun to dance/smooch with!

Not so anymore...??

Tracy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Wed, 04-27-2005 - 11:17pm

unfort no! not a good place at all. sad but true. every single wedding ive been to - everyone had a significant other. the single table at weddings has completely disappeared!

i used to love weddings, now its a total chore sort of thing. Im very happy for my friends, but its def time to make more single friends. i think that is the key
its not that i wont be friends with my buddies that are married/getting married, but i think hanging out w/ them alot is not going to happen as much.

layzx - ha, i was thinking of that the other day - baby shower wave. then my friend from work said 'well just wait a few more years bc you'll thru the divorce wave and your friends will want to go out again. at that pt, you'll prob be settling down'. ha, i know that will happen! I think half of my friends' marriage will last - pretty much the average statistic these day...

thanks gals, i feel soooo much better this week than i did when i posted this.