A weighty issue

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2005
A weighty issue
25
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 1:07am

hey guys,

LBF's thread made me wonder something.. Since the new "average" size for american women is a size 14, why are men on non-speciality sites so picky? (I am sure the same goes for men, but im not sure if the size issue is the same) It seems a little unrealistic, I know for a fact in NYC, men seem to be on a crusade to only date someone that is in single digit sizes (specifically size six and under), including men that are much larger then the women's equivalent of a size 14. What do you guys think?

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the average U.S. woman is 5' 3.7 (162 centimeters) tall and weighs 152 pounds (69 kilograms). This corresponds to a Body Mass Index of 26.3 kilograms/meters², which is slightly less than the average man's.




Edited 4/17/2005 1:36 am ET ET by gal_moonlight
We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 7:38pm

First off, congrats Stacey! I know for me, the beginning of a relationship usually has me on such a high that I lose weight! Good luck with the further weight loss.

Also, NGOL, I agree with you. Just because those numbers are "average" still doesn't necessarily mean that it is healthy. Yes, there will be women and men that are the average or more that are healthy and people below average that are very unhealthy. But America is overweight and things are not getting better. We are in a crisis where adults are unhealthy and don't take care of themselves and our children are learning those bad habits from us. We're headed down a long road where we'll face many more health issues from obesity.

I do think it is hypocritical for people of either sex that are out of shape to be snobs about weight and demand that their partner be in shape when they are not and not willing to do anything about it either. I keep in relatively good shape and I would like a guy that I am with to be in good shape too. I actually usually wind up dating shorter guys (5'7"-5'10") that have average physiques but that are generally healthy. It is more that I want a guy to be able to do things with me and also to be able to BE with me for a long time. If he is out of shape, he faces health problems and who knows what can happen.

I also think that couples can be both a bad and good influence on each other. Maybe you can keep each other active or you want to keep your SO attracted so you will work out more and watch your diet more. On the other hand, like my friend that has been going out with her new guy for a while. They are both significantly overweight and she has admitted that he is a bad influence on her in that regard because 1) he is a big eater so when they go out, she eats more with him and 2) they both have a pretty sedentary lifestyle and don't do active things together. They are more likely to watch TV or a movie on the couch than take a walk or do something active. In that way, they are perhaps even making things worse for each other and themselves.

NGOL you said:
<>

Unfortunately, I wish that were the case, but I don't think it ever will be. When we have Burger King creating new breakfast sandwiches with 800 calories and 40 grams of fat and frozen dinners that give you "a full pound of meat", restaurants that perpetuate large portion sizes, and people that generally refuse to see it in themselves or do anything about it, then it never will get better.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 7:53pm

I lean towards agreeing with NG. Americans are, by far, wayy too fat and need to lose some poundage.

Over the last two years I've dropped 55 pounds and it's amazing how much differently people treat me. I'm still the same person, but guys who wouldn't look at me twice then are VERY friendly these days. I don't hold it much against them - I was pretty heavy and very unhappy with myself.

These days, however, I'm dealing with the fat guys, old guys, and so forth, hitting on me. Now... why would a fat or old guy think someone like me would want him? He wouldn't be able to keep up with me. And what would we have in common?

So, I agree, we should be a little picky about the size of who we date. The age you can't do anything about, except maybe stay a little more in your own age range, but the weight you can lose.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 9:14pm

"It pays to look like Adrian Paul"

no if ands or butts....

If you want a GF, you need to be thinkin that.
Period.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2005
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 9:26pm

I think we need to remember exactly what a size 14 is...

Im referring to many plus sized models like Mia Tyler, If anyone has seen her pictures she is NOT morbidly obese just overweight. There are levels of being overweight and not all are health risks. Now granted losing weight is challenging problem that can be rectified with a little hard work for most people, but for some it is genetic and not much can be done about it. Now some people are lucky enough to not be challenged by weight, and maybe they don't understand the type of prejudice that exists against people who do not fit the ideal set by society. I for one would rather be with someone who is content with their body image, wants to be healthy but not necessarily thin, and has self worth.

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 9:29pm
I'll drink to that - good attitude!

The Small Peanut

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 10:36pm

>>for some it is genetic and not much can be done about it.<<

I don't buy this for most people. I'll tell you why- most of the rest of the world is nowhere near as fat as we are in America.

Yet, with the exception of the American Indians, pretty much everyone here is a descendant from someone who came from somewhere else. (Okay, getting picky, so are the American Indians- they just came to North America a much longer time ago.)

So how can it be "genetic" when all of our ethnic relatives, back in their home lands, are nowhere NEAR as fat as we are here?

No, it's societal. We eat too much and move too little, and that's all there is to it. This has been borne out by research- coming to America is terrible on immigrants' waistlines. Only 8% of immigrants who've lived here for less than a year are obese; after 15 years of living here, that number jumps to 19 percent. (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2004/12/16/wfat16.xml&sSheet=/news/2004/12/16/ixworld.html)

There ARE definitely some people who have genetic or metabolic predispositions to being too big. I mean, it's a variation that works in nature- when famine hits, the folks who pack on the weight live, while the skinny people die.

But the vast majority of people aren't fighting this- they're just eating too much and moving too little. Period. End of story.

I think the "it's not my fault, it's just genetic/metabolic" is a Big Lie that people keep perpetuating to avoid facing the honest, hard truth: For the vast majority, being overweight/obese is due in large part to factors of their own making.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2005
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 10:47pm
The number of fat cells a person has is inherited from their parents regardless of height. I think we are talking about two different things.
We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2005
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 6:14am

As a former bodybuilder I can tell you what you say is true. I used to bury myself in those magazines for years and they have it down to a science. Fat cells are added before you are 5 years old and during adolescence. Otherwise, they only get bigger or smaller. So Oprah has the same number of fat cells as she's always had - they're just a lot tinier now.

However, I think Mia Tyler is fat. I think her sis Liv is just right. Not too skinny and since she's had the baby, perfect!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 9:52am

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Edited 4/18/2005 9:58 am ET ET by countrygrlupnorth

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 9:53am

I don't think Mia Tyler is fat. She's curvy, for sure. I think big boobies can make a woman look bigger than she is.

She's 5'7 and wears anything from a 12 to a 16.