Weird Online Experience
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| Fri, 12-23-2005 - 7:52pm |
Hi,
I have my profile online on one of the dating/marriage sites. This guy (in the "never married" category) who is good looking and well settled, made contact with me to which I only accepted communicating with him with no message, since there was no message from him.
After about a day or 2, he sent a message on the website telling me that he would like me to email him my picture (he has his pic on the website) and that he would love to talk to me on phone.
I sent him an email telling him that even though the website says that I have never been married, I was actually divorced (I went back after sending him this email and changed my marital status to divorce), that I wanted to be honest with him on the get-go and if he would still be interested, I would be more than happy to email him a pic.
He replied (thanking me for my honesty) that he wants to take a look at the future and go from there, that all of us have a past and that he would look forward to my message and pic. His email made me very happy as it gave me a feeling that this man is matured.
That same day, I emailed him my pic with this message - "Your email brightened my day. I like your attitude and so here goes my pic". This was on tuesday and it's friday and he has not responded.
What do you think? - He did not like my pic, he got busy, he is rude to have not responded to my email, will he email me back. I don't want to pursue him - is there any way I can find out what went wrong? What is the waiting time for gals - how long should a gal wait for a guy to respond before writing him off?
What should I do in case I do get a reply from him? Show a cold shoulder, wait for double the time period and then respond?
Thanks,
SK

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Can you post your pic on your ad? This way you can avoid this in the future and guys that you find you to be "their type" and "physical" is part of the equation will write you. To me, this would be far more discouraging. If he was interested he'd follow up ASAP and saying nothing is better then saying "he's not interested"....because he will know it's because you're not his type more than likely. Sure there is a chance he's away but more than likely not. Also, don't put your hopes into "one guy" please write several as some disapear etc. Hang in there and don't take it personally as each of us have dif't things we're attracted too.
SP
Thank you to all who responded!! This really helped, I had actually started thinking there was something wrong with me or my pic. But I'm going to keep my head up and be positive - there are other fish in the sea :)
Actually there's another guy whom I had sent the same pic and we actually talked on phone. We both seem very compatible and both of us enjoyed the conversation that lasted for half an hour.
The problem is that he is a nurse and I am a computer professional - he makes only 2000$ per month while I make much more than that. I sent him an email, letting him know that
- I really enjoyed the conversation
- I think he is a smart, simple and a very caring person
- I liked him though there is a hitch (adding that I couldn't talk over this on phone as it is a sensitive issue and therefore I was writing him an email) : the financial aspect / his income apologizing to him for being so blunt.
- I ended saying that I was still looking forward to talking to him again if he wishes to and that he can call me anyday (since I really like him as a person)
Did I do something wrong? Was I right in being so blunt? Is it ok to have an open communication considering the other person is serious about settling down in his life and is not looking for a casual relationship? Will he call me to discuss it over?
Thanks.
SK
He just finished his L.V.N - he is not a registered nurse. Is your sister a RN?
OMG - was I right in sending him that email?
SK
I don't see the point of raising his income as an issue...what is he supposed to do with that information? If you're not interested in dating him because of his income, then don't. But to rub it in his face (something he can't change at least not overnight) just seems rude to me. What's the point?
Sheri
I agree and I'm the kind of person who normally does not do that.
I had a reason for doing so - he was very interested in me and wanted to take it further. Considering his income, I didn't want him to spend money coming from west coast to east coast just to listen to "I'm interested in you too but we have a problem - your financial status". That would have been more unfair to him.
I feel terrible to have written that email to him and to have been so blunt to him. But I want you to see what my point was.
On the inside, I'm fighting myself to not call him because I want to talk to him and apologise to him (even though I already did in that same email). I'm not sure if he is ever going to call me back. I did that for both of us.
Was there an alternative for me? It's very rare to find people online who show themselves what they really are without being pretentious. And that is exactly what he was. I miss him already and wish things were different.
Sobbing...
SK
Why not just say, "sorry, I don't think we're a good match"? I don't see how being specific about the issue is helpful...it just seems unnecessarily hurtful to me.
Sheri
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