well he never called....

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thousandays
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
well he never called....
6
 Thu, 07-31-2003 - 1:35pm
guess I was solo in thinking it was a great date and we should see each other again. I'll never understand men or what it is I do on date 1 which drives them all away!
thousandays
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cl_survivingdivorce
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
In reply to: thousandays
well he never called....
 Thu, 07-31-2003 - 1:41pm
Now, as I recall...didnt you two simply shake hands? Well, I remember the date and it seemed to have went well from the way you described it. Well, damn. Maybe he had an ex he got back with or maybe something came up. Or maybe he is just one of those guys who is shy and scared to call. Can you not at least call him or email him and ask what is up? I would want to know why he didnt call. Good lord, that must be the question of the year!! WHY MEN DONT CALL! lol Well, listen...no big deal. Back to the drawing board and next time if you feel attracted to someone and want to kiss em, DO IT! lol No harm in getting a little smooch out of the deal if they arent going to call back. lol. Anywho. Goodluck with it all girl!


Gail

whoshouldibe
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2003
In reply to: thousandays
well he never called....
 Thu, 07-31-2003 - 2:09pm
How incredibly frustrating! I don't understand why people say they will call and don't.Whatever consolation it is, it may save you problems in the long run, and cuts down on the time to figure out that he wasn't the one. Next!
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thousandays
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: thousandays
well he never called....
 Thu, 07-31-2003 - 2:56pm
Yep Gail, we shook hands and in fact, I did email him the Tuesday after our Saturday date, saying I had a nice time, etc, have fun with your friend coming in town. It's been 2 weeks now and nothing. Back to the drawing board indeed....
thousandays
cl_survivingdivorce
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
In reply to: thousandays
well he never called....
 Thu, 07-31-2003 - 5:59pm
Ahhh, well poo on him then. NEXT!!! lol


Gail:)

niccolonia
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2003
In reply to: thousandays
well he never called....
 Fri, 08-01-2003 - 5:32am
"I don't understand why people say they will call and don't."

I just wonder if "people" is the right word here or if it really just a men's thing? I mean I never say I will call when I don't intend to. And when I am not interested after a date either I say so directly (which is not easy and I guess I have just been able to tell that upfront once) or I send an email like "Thanks for the evening but I guess we don't ...." after it. But I never let him in the dark about not knowing what happened or what will happen to us. That way both of us know where we are standing and I think that's much better than hoping for a message or another date which will never come.

I have no idea why men like it better the other way and I really wonder if they would prefer us being similar to them and just leave everything open? Perhaps they can tell their friends then "Well, if I would I could call 10 different girls and ask them out because I never really broke up with them?"

Any opinions on this?

Nicole

deena33
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: thousandays
well he never called....
 Fri, 08-01-2003 - 8:16am
I just take it as a given that no matter how wonderful the date is I may never hear from him again - for whatever reason - and I personally just move on. What her post made me think however was how many men have wondered why I didn't call back after a first date that seemed to go well or why my email said "thank you for your email but I don't think we are compatible." One time - after a particularly bad date (his first question when we sat down to dinner at an expensive place he chose and where he expected me to chip in): "How many published decisions do you have?" (he meant, court decisions as we are both attorneys) - I wish i had done the following - written on my napkin "i decide never to go out with you ever again", signed my name and said - "one." Hindsight . . . . . .

He asked me why I wouldn't see him again - i sent him a long email with constructive suggestions like, don't just talk about yourself and work, ask the woman questions - I pointed out all I had learned about his background and family and how he had learned nothing about me other than my resume which I could have just brought a copy of. I did not mention "don't suggest dinner at a fancy place and then accept my offer to chip in after boasting about hwo wealthy you are" Maybe he's reading this?? LOL

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