Well I met him

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
Well I met him
10
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 9:29am

Finally met one guy at Starbucks yesterday afternoon. He bought my coffee (mentioned something about being raised as a gentlemen) I was planning on just paying for it myself. I was expecting him to show up 15 min. later.

I sort of feel that maybe he was unimpressed by me, Maybe I am just being critical of myself.

The conversation seemed easy. Not many pauses, maybe one or two when we seemed to be collecting our thoughts. We talked for about 3 hours. So is that a good thing? I was expecting after 9 pretty lengthy emails and one phone conversation that went on for about an hour and a half that we might not have anything to talk about.

There were no hugs, I said that he had my number, and then he said that I had his as well.... Is he expecting me to call? We didn't immediately set up anything for seeing each other again. Should I send a follow-up email? Just to say, Thanks for the coffee, it was really nice meeting you. I thought I could extend an invite to a Game Night I am having this week. Oh and maybe I should mention that I realized I told him the wrong road to get to the interstate? (Said 8th Avenue, and it was actually 5th)

We will probably just end up as friends. Which is okay. The first meeting seemed to go well, but now I think I am starting to second guess everything.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2010
In reply to: czech_elle
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 3:09pm

Sorry it wasn’t very exciting or even promising.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
In reply to: czech_elle
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 3:34pm

Thank you for your thoughts.

Luckily for me, I am okay if it ends up as a friendship. He's a nice guy. May not be the guy for me, but he's interesting.


Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
In reply to: czech_elle
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 3:48pm

I agree with most of what the previous poster said, but I wouldn't write it off. Some people can be nervous/distracted on a first meet, and may not come across as they would in a less "stressful situation." We can say and do clumsy things.

I have to laugh...I met a man quite a few years ago through a personal ad, and we too had the same exchange about phone numbers, him saying I could call him too. So I did a week later. It was sooo awkward. It was so clear he didn't want me to call. So, I don't know if it's a coincidence that this guy also said that. (This is yet another example of why I don't call men in the beginning phases of dating).

Personally, I wouldn't send a follow-up email, nor would I call. I think we all second-guess ourselves to some extent. Not to be negative, but most meetings from OLD don't work out, so it's best to not get your hopes too high.

Hey, and who couldn't use a few more male friends?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
In reply to: czech_elle
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 4:08pm

I won't be calling him. He initiated the calls, so I figure he can call if he wants to. I will give him credit though, he has not text messaged me. He mentioned by phone that if he wants to tell someone anything, it's just as easy for him to call them up.

Another man that I like wrote me today, so it has made the day a bit easier.

I would figure most first meetings would probably not work out. I have not met too many of the guys that I have written to with OLD. The man from yesterday was probably the first one I have met in person since I signed up this time on Match. So at least it was a nice chat.

I used to criticize that book "He's just not that into you" (really wanted it to be wrong with one guy) but I actually agree with it for the most part now.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2009
In reply to: czech_elle
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 1:17am

Well, i always heard (over 4 yrs of OLD) that you werent likely to get a 2nd date with someone, if they didnt at least mention it, & better yet, set it UP while ON the 1st date. I think thats sort of true.


Ive been dating my bf now for about 15 months. He contacted me on Plenty of Fish. On the 1st date, which was originally to meet for drinks, which turned into apps, which turned into a drink at another place ... 6 hours later ... & he invited me to have breakfast with him that next weekend (5 days later).


Ive also seen many many women go on many dates, & never "get" a 2nd date.


There is a lot of differing opinion on whether or not to follow up a date like that

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
In reply to: czech_elle
Fri, 06-11-2010 - 3:42pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
In reply to: czech_elle
Fri, 06-11-2010 - 4:15pm

Thanks for your post!

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
In reply to: czech_elle
Fri, 06-11-2010 - 4:37pm

"If a man is truly interested, he will ask you out on a 2nd date before the 1st date has ended."

I don't think this is always true. I think it's true that if a man tries to set up a second date while still on the first he's pretty interested, but if he didn't, I wouldn't rule it out. I think first meets from OLD can be stressful and awkward, so I like to give the benefit of the doubt. Now if I feel like I would NEVER want to see him again, there's no need for a next date. But if I felt on the fence, I'd give it a chance. I'm thinking men may feel the same.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2009
In reply to: czech_elle
Fri, 06-11-2010 - 5:26pm
I read your post and all the replys to it. I have to agree that it doesn't look promising. I would send him a email only to thank him for the meeting and the coffee. Even though most of this OLD is cyberspace, I think people should show manners and be polite. You also said that you would like to be just friends with him. Saying thank you is how you would treat a friend.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
In reply to: czech_elle
Sun, 06-13-2010 - 4:48am

"If a man is truly interested, he will ask you out on a 2nd date before the 1st date has ended."

I think this is often true, but not always the case. My SO didn't even think I liked him after the first date. We were both nervous, and it wasn't instant chemistry. He sent me a thank you text afterward and said that he hoped we could go out again, to which I responded I would love to, but it still took him a week of talking to me every day to realize I didn't only like him as a friend.