Well, I tried online dating again...

born2luv

iVillage Member

Registered: 03-26-2003

7	Fri, 07-18-2003 - 10:13am

I put up a new profile at Lavalife, using a completely different "who I am". More casual, less deep-thought than the previous one I was using.

So I logged in last night to see if there was any response to my ad, and this guy in Ancaster (60 minutes away) had sent me a smile. It was late, and I should have been in bed, but I sent him a smile back. Well, he was online, and started IM-ing me. It was OK, he seemed nice enough. But after just a few minutes of talking to me, he wanted to meet me. I know people say you need to meet right away, but whoa! I don't even know if I like this guy, let alone enough to have him drive for an hour to meet.

It might be OK for him, but it just makes me so uncomfortable. Plus, I am very big-busted, though the rest of me is averaged-sized. He kept commenting on that, although he was never rude. He kept telling me I was drop-dead gorgeous, he was amazed that I wasn't swamped with offers, and more. I do think that I am pretty, but felt he was going way overboard!

I just feel uncomfortable about the whole thing, and probably won't continue talking to him. But it seems that everyone is in such a med rush, and well, it's just not me...

~*~ Catherine

Signatures On

cl_bastphilliy

iVillage Member

Registered: 03-19-2003

In reply to: born2luv

Well, I tried online dating again...

Fri, 07-18-2003 - 10:26am

Well, that is just the turn online dating has taken. it is just different avenue and people tend to wnt to rush and see if the chemistry is there. Just start off by letting them know that after a couple emails then you move to phone then decide to meet. That way you can decide if talking to him online one night was good and the nest day you call or whatever the time table you want. I understand where you are coming from and I am hppy you are trying it again. I do hope you have luck there wasn't much there for me when I had an ad. Well, Kansas City doesn't have much prospects any way seems everyone is in St Louis. Go figure. Also, have you tried love access? I understand the lifetime membership is 39.99 not sure but was told that I joined over a year ago with a lifetime membership for 19.99 and have met some great guys.

Marie

cl_survivingdivorce

iVillage Member

Registered: 04-16-2003

In reply to: born2luv

Well, I tried online dating again...

Fri, 07-18-2003 - 11:47am

Yes, I agree with you catherine. He sounds like a typical male. I am not attracted to the typical male. When a man makes any comment about my breasts or their size, or my ass for that matter, I do not feel real hopeful about the outcome. I myself, share your views. I also have large breats, small waist, and a bubble butt. SO, men that are really into looks, tend to want to talk about or make comments, like I need it. I do not need someone to tell me I have a nice ass. Not my idea of a good catch. (smiles)

Well, I agree with you. Let that one go. NExt!!! All is fair in love and war baby!

Gail

linds8300

iVillage Member

Registered: 03-26-2003

In reply to: born2luv

Well, I tried online dating again...

Fri, 07-18-2003 - 11:54am

If you feel uncomfortable then it is probably a good idea to cut off contact with him. I know how you feel b/c I too am big busted and I always get comments on my chest and I hate it...it really isn't all its cracked up to be. I hope you find some nice guy who is going to sweep you off your feet and that you have better luck!!

Lindsay

deena33

iVillage Member

Registered: 03-26-2003

In reply to: born2luv

Well, I tried online dating again...

Fri, 07-18-2003 - 12:38pm

I would never ever meet a man who commented at all on my body except in the most general way (as in "I liked your photo - you're attractive) in the first few minutes of chatting. He sounds sleazy, at least to me and my opinion is - "NEXT!"

thousandays

iVillage Member

Registered: 03-28-2003

In reply to: born2luv

Well, I tried online dating again...

Fri, 07-18-2003 - 3:13pm

I know how that feels. I'm usually turned off by guys in a rush to meet. The way I figure, if he can't find enough to talk about with me on chat, there's no point in meeting in person. If my instincts are telling me no, no matter how cool the guy might seem "on paper", I don't go. I just had that happen. A guy chatted me a bunch of times, wanted to meet right away, I was hesitant. Then I got his picture and he was drop dead gorgeous. So I thought ok. Then when we were planning when, he kept insisting we meet late at night, on a weeknight. Late to me is after 9 and he wanted to meet at 9. So I told him let's postpone. He was all, come on, it's not that late. Well his reaction set off alarm bells. So I've decided to follow my instincts and not meet with him. Basically what I'm saying is follow your gut. He may be a perfectly nice guy, then again he may not be. It doesn't matter. What matters is you and what you're feeling. He'll find someone else who meshes better with his pace and you'll meet someone for your pace. It's that simple, or at least it is to me. Best of luck to you. ~Carol

thousandays

jhoover21

iVillage Member

Registered: 07-05-2003

In reply to: born2luv

Well, I tried online dating again...

Fri, 07-18-2003 - 4:56pm

I've also been contacted by men who wanted to meet the same night they first contacted me. I always say no. I need to exchange a few emails and talk on the phone at least once before feeling comfortable meeting face-to-face.

I also never meet with a man who comments on specific body parts. Nor do I meet with a man who talks about sex during chats.

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jen_nv16

iVillage Member

Registered: 04-17-2003

In reply to: born2luv

Well, I tried online dating again...

Sat, 07-19-2003 - 6:36am

oww Catherine, he only met you 1st time yet she already commented about ur breast. well how much more if he will see u in person maybe he will comment more ha..im sure u will feel more uncomfortable with that...so next guy plz...

~jen

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