Well, it's Definate Now...
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| Fri, 11-10-2006 - 3:27pm |
I cant believe I did this, but I did… I let my anxiousness get the best of me and I got out of control and I think I pushed this guy away (that is if he wasn’t already "not interested" to begin with) because I've been so frustrated that I contacted him 2 more times. Crazy, I know, and I know now in hindsight that it was the wrong thing to do, but I cant go back and undo it and now I'm so upset over this. This first date seemed to go so well, he made a point of making clear what a good time he had, even called me after the date to reinforce that, and the fact that he wanted to see me again, how all of a sudden could he start ignoring me for no apparent reason?? (I know why he's ignoring me NOW, but before I sent him all the contacts I mean). Here's all the contacts today:
1. This morning I sent him a funny picture comment on myspace (we've been doing that every day). To this, he responded with a quick picture comment back and wrote "I hope you have a good day" under it.
2. For the past week or so he's been texting me non-stop all day, so I thought it would be ok to send him a text and I wrote "How's your day going? Slow day here, etc etc" - no response to that
3. Then I started getting frustrated and I waited a while and I sent him an email on myspace because I noticed that he's been on most of the day. My email said "I was just wondering, you said you were buzzed last night (he has 1 drink) so I just wanted to ask you again, did you have fun last night? I saw that he read it, but I got no response.
4. Then I was really upset and I waited a while longer and I sent him a text that said "should I take it that you're not really interested? Its ok, I just want to know". You guessed it. No response.
Guys, PLEASE PLEASE DON’T BEAT ME UP ON THIS. I do know that I was wrong in sending all those contacts and now I feel like such and idiot because of it, so any "beating up" responses here will make me feel even worse. I am definitely not sending anything else, don’t worry, but I just wanted to hear some opinions on this or if any of you have experienced anything similar?
Thanks
Jacki

I can definately understand why you would have emailed him 2x in this sense even though you know that you probably shouldn't have. It was due to sheer frustration and you did it spur of the moment. So yes don't beat yourself up for it just know that you did it because you were angry and be aware of it next time.
I have had a similar thing happen to me a few times but a friend of mine has had it happen to her countless numbers of times and I feel so aweful for her and she's so beautiful, fun and smart too so I just dont' understand why. I think unfortunately its' the norm for guys to just disappear in the early stages because of maybe finding someone else or just not being all that interested, but they would rather disappear than hurt your feelings. I personally would rather get an explanation than just have someone disappear because that is the coward's way out. I wish that guys just knew that most of us women would rather hear that they didnt' feel the connection or are pursuing someone else than just be ghosted on. They need to learn that it actually is worse for us when they give us no answer.
I know it doesn't feel this way now but honestly it's probably best that he did this early on so that you don't feel even more hurt later on after getting emotionally attached and so that it frees you up to meet someone who really is into you and more suited for you.
Take it slow luv.....that is S...L...O...W....
The ball is in his court, and now you have reached out - just let him grab hold and see what happens, not a big deal...but I like to be persued...
When my SO calls, and I miss his call, thats ok - I know that he will call back, and it makes me feel good that he is thinking of me enough to call, its not a game. But I have learned to take a step back and let my SO do a bit of persuing ( I typically fall into that catagory - I see it, I want it, I go for it...)
SO...sit back and enjoy the ride and enjoy his pursuit of you
cheers
sarah
I agree with vexer's suggestion to you on the other board as to how to respond to the text.
Not going to beat you up...you obviously realize that you went overboard...but I hope you've learned something from the experience. Next time, I would recommend letting the guy contact you first after a date.
Sheri