Well, we talked...
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 05-03-2005 - 10:33pm |
First, thank you Sheri and iteach for your responses to my original post.
He called tonight and I took the advice of everyone that said stay calm and talk to him. Basically I said I was not happy about not seeing him this week. He said, "Well, I just have so much to do on the boat." He then reminded about how he told me that when summer comes he's always on his boat. I then reminded him that we were supposed to be making a compromise on the weeks when I couldn't make it.
I said that if we continue with the current schedule, I wouldn't see him for another 2 weeks and I said it was NOT acceptable. I asked, "Is this OK with you?" He said, "Well, I don't think that will happen. We've never gone THAT long without seeing each other!" That didn't answer my question. I pushed a little harder. He said that he does miss me not going with him, but he's fine on the boat by himself. So I guess it would be OK to go that long? He said no, but he's OK with being by himslef if it that's the way it is. I said I was not.
He then made a little joke about me experiencing "seperation anxiety". I didn't laugh. He then tried, "Well, at least winter is longer than summer." I was a little sarcastic, "Woo hoo. Lucky me."
I said I really miss spending time with him like we used to. What can we do to come to some sort of compromise or a situation that is agreeable to both of us? He thought for a second and said he would make an honest effort to spend at least one evening during the week...starting next week.
"So, I guess I'll only see you on the weekends if I come down to the boat?" "Yeah, pretty much."
He then started with the we're in a transitional stage speech. I said I know that (thanks guys!), but I did not want to be the one who'll be making all the adjustments. He needs to bring someting to the table too. He didn't have a suggestion, except to say that we'll just see how this goes and make any changes as we go along.
One of the last things he said was, "You'll see. You'll feel better about things when summer comes. You'll be spending more time with me on the boat." I couldn't help but think this whole conversation just flew over his head.
So, I don't feel great about how this turned out. It's apparent that he is not going to give up time on the boat for me. I have to deicide if that's acceptable. At this moment it is not. I need time to digest all of this.
I'll bring up meeting his daughter again, depending how things go over the next few weeks. Who knows. It may not matter.

Pages
Everyone gave excellent advice again but do revisit the topic.
Pages