What am I doing wrong?
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|Tue, 06-30-2009 - 4:00pm|
Ok, so I have been on POF for almost 3 months now and in that time, I have met 4 different guys. The first two guys I just didn't feel that "connection" with them after meeting, but I gave them a fair chance and went out with them at least one more time to make sure things wouldn't work. I then let each of them know that there just wasn't that spark there for the relationship, and we went our separate ways. Well, the past two guys have been the opposite... With the next guy, we met up at a local brewery for dinner, then spent some time walking around the downtown before taking a drive. During our drive, we decided it would be fun to park and walk to the beach, so we did just that. During the walk, he put his arm around me and we just kept talking. Needless to say, the date lasted over 5 hours and I thought it was great. We then talked for the next few days and planned date #2 as a dinner during the week. So, we met for dinner and talked and things went well. He walked me to my car at the end of the date, we hugged, and he told me to give him a call in about 1/2 hour when I got home. So, I called him about 45 minutes later and got his vm, left no message and figured he would call back since he knew i was calling. Next day...nothing, so I called at 9pm, got his vm again, and left no message. Finally, at 9:30 I sent him a text asking if i said or did anything to turn him away. I didn't understand what happened because the last time we talked was when he told me to call him and that was the end of that.
Moving on to the most recent guy... We e-mailed back and forth for about a week before exchanging numbers. Our first conversation on the phone was pretty short, but it was good. The second conversation we had on the phone lasted almost 2 1/2 hours and he just drew me in because of how much we had in common and how easy we carried on the conversation. We didn't talk for a few days and he sent me an e-mail saying how amazed he was with our conversation and he looked forward to meeting soon. The weekend came and he called me friday night, but i was busy so i called him saturday afternoon and left a message. We talked finally sunday night for over 2 hours and I got off the phone smiling because of how much I already liked what I learned about him. He is a very confident person and I looked forward to seeing where things took us. We made plans to meet up for lunch the following day (yesterday), since he has a pretty flexible work schedule. Next day comes, we meet for lunch and talk and he told me how relaxed he was when we talked on the phone and when we were eating lunch. He said that typically he is multi-tasking and has short, 10 minute, phone conversations, but with me he is able to just relax and talk, same with lunch. We talked about family, pets, food, our jobs, and he was saying how relaxed he felt and how nice lunch was because he usually doesn't sit down and have a long lunch like this. Comes to the end of lunch and we walk outside, he says he had a good time and that we should do this again, we hug, and go our separate ways. I decided to send him a text, about 2 hours later, saying "Hey, thank you again for lunch today, it was nice to finally meet. I look forward to hanging out again soon." He responded with, "Thank you for joining me. I had a good time also." I then went on POF this morning and he was also on. I noticed that he deleted all the e-mails I had sent to him. So, now I question whether or not I will be hearing from him again. It is hard not to wonder why he was so general with his text message, or why he deleted all my e-mails.
Has anyone else had experiences like mine? I haven't given up hope on the most recent guy, but I just don't understand what I do to make these guys just disappear. I always make a point to let a guy know I'm not interested, if we have met in person. I know that people will just up and disappear when you are e-mailing, but I figure that once you have met, it is respectful to at least tell them you aren't interested, rather than leaving them hanging. Also, should I give him a call/text tonight or tomorrow night, or just leave it up to him to contact me?